We live in a society where people, specifically women, are held to an unrealistic standard of beauty.
I mean, come on. I can hardly even keep up with the rules and regulations that come along with being considered a "hot girl"; stick thin legs, big a*s, tiny waist, huge boobs, clear, hairless skin, zero acne, perfectly tousled hair fresh out of the shower... The list goes on and on. People seriously need to get a grip. But, as ridiculous as it all is, I, somehow, still find myself feeling insecure about my body from time to time.
Maybe some of you will find that hard to believe since I kind of give off this vibe that I love myself and my life and the world and all of its beautiful creatures, but that isn't so much the case. I mean, yes, I am very grateful for my life and everything in it, but, f*ck, it is so hard to love myself sometimes. And I know for a fact that I am not the only person that feels this way.
As an individual with a history of depression, self-harm, and distorted eating habits, I know how difficult it can be to simply accept yourself the way that you are. And society certainly doesn't make it any easier. While I struggled with self-image issues, I was given advice such as, "just keep your head up," "you're perfect the way that you are," and "no one will be able to love you until you love yourself."
And you know what I think about that?
It's bullsh*t.
Now, I'm not trying to say that I don't appreciate the love and support from the people around me, because I do— I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for them, so, to those people, thank you so very much. But, that isn't necessarily the advice that we should be giving to people struggling with mental illnesses— Or to anyone at all, for that matter.
A person can't just "keep their head up" and magically feel comfortable in their own skin. Being told that "you're perfect" does not make it true. No one is perfect, and that's okay! There is a certain beauty about, not believing that you're perfect, but accepting the fact that you are not and never will be. Being perfect is overrated and unattainable, but being you is even more wonderful and unique. As far as being told that "no one will love me until I love myself"? Well, that is my least favorite terrible thing to say to another human in the history of terrible things to say to another human. Do not let anyone convince you that, just because you may find it difficult to love yourself, that you are not worthy of someone else's love and affection. Just f*cking don't.
The goal is not to be able to look in the mirror and say, "Holy sh*t. I am a perfect creature— a celestial being on this blessed earth! Humans, fear me." No, no, no. The goal is to be able to look in the mirror and say, "All right. So, maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe I do have a few quirks and imperfections. Perhaps there are a few things about my body that I'd like to change. But, you know what? That is okay. I am more than okay."
Now, I understand that I may face a bit of backlash for this article. It may seem as though I'm advocating self-hate, but I promise that I'm not. Let me make this as clear and vivid as Louis Tomlinson's eyes, m'kay? If you love yourself completely, good for you. That is seriously so amazing, and I am beyond proud of you. But do not bag on the rest of us who have trouble loving ourselves. It is a process; sometimes I feel like I'm on top of the world, and, other times, I wish that I was so very different.
To all of you cute boys and girls out there, just know that it is beautiful and it is brave to acknowledge the fact that you are not perfect, and that perfection is a make-believe concept. Because I can tell you for a fact, I have never in my life loved someone who was perfect. Every family member that I have, every friend that I have made, every crush that I have daydreamed over for countless hours? They all have their flaws, they all have their insecurities, and that has only made me love them more.
So, if you don't completely love your body, that's okay! If you want to work out a bit, if you want to eat healthier, if you want to put on a little extra makeup, or if you want to wear that jacket because it makes your tummy look a little flatter, FREAKING DO IT. But do it for you. Do it because you want to feel better about yourself. Do it because you think, "I know that I'm beautiful, and I want to do something for me." Never do anything to please someone else. Loving yourself doesn't mean that you don't want to change anything about yourself, it means that you are capable of making changes that are good for you— making changes that will make you happier and healthier and livelier.
So, there you go, love nuggets. More life-changing advice from your favorite foul-mouthed, sarcastic writer, Kay. (Wink, wink.) If you loved this, let me know. If you hated this, also let me know. Thank you so much for reading. Stay rad, stay bad, and, always remember in the words of our favorite New Girl, Jess:
