Let me tell you why it’s hard to learn to love yourself. Whether you are tall, short, petite, larger than most. Whether you have glasses, contacts or can see perfectly fine. Whether you are blonde, brunette or a redhead, whether you have short hair or long hair or no hair at all. Whether you are the most confident person on earth or you barely even look in the mirror, we have all had problems with ourselves at one point or another.
I’m not just talking about outward appearances. While they do have a big impact on how we speak about and hold ourselves, some of it has to do with how we view ourselves on the inside. You could be the most beautiful person in the world and unable to see it. We form opinions of ourselves based on how people treat us, how people look at us, how people talk about us and so on. Sometimes it’s not even other people. Sometimes we have torn ourselves apart so much that we cannot even recognize what we have to offer the world.
I have spent the past six years forming an ugly opinion about myself. I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see. Sometimes I see how other people view me, and don’t like what I see.
The world has brought me to a place that is low and dark and lonely. If I voice how I actually feel about myself, suddenly I’m fishing for compliments, but it’s the honest truth. I’m not the only one that feels this way, but it’s not all our fault either. Girls spend time talking about other girls, boys spend time talking about other boys and not all of it’s good, in fact most of it is negative. We live in a world that is against us. We can't win, at least that's what I thought.
I believed that I wasn't attractive. I believed that I would never be. I believed that other people saw me the same way I saw myself, but for the first time last year, I saw myself through a friend's eyes. There was a moment, when we were up late, talking about everything, the way that girls do, and I remember sharing my insecurities and she looked at me like I was crazy. She took a moment to process this, and she said, "It's weird how we see ourselves. Because that's not the way I see you at all."
It took me a couple minutes to process what she said, and sometimes I still think about it. I think about it when I don't feel great about myself. I think about it when I feel great about myself. I think about it when I don't know to feel about myself.
And this is what I have learned. The world can be against us all it wants to be, but if you are OK with who you are, and you love yourself, the opinions of others will rarely matter. The moment you accept yourself, the moment you see your flaws, and imperfections and accept them for what they are, you can begin to see your beauty.
This might sound difficult, and there are days I still struggle with it, but I didn't say that it was going to be easy. Finding the beauty in who you are could take a day, it could take weeks, it could take years, it could take a really amazing friend, but it will be worth it. For so many reasons it will be worth it.
Stay lovely.
