True story. I was having a conversation with some random guy at my university. Astonished by my choices to stay sober & save myself for marriage he had to ask again. I affirmed him that yes, I don't drink, yes I don't smoke, yes I indeed am saving myself for marriage. He asked, "so you really just don't do anything." Annoyed by his ignorant attitude I responded, "If that is what's considered as doing nothing then I guess so." He said to me, "you know that makes you a boring person right."

For a while, I had gotten used to responses like this but quite honestly after that conversation I grew tired of feeling ashamed of my life choices. I'd like to think I am more than my virginity and the decisions I choose to make for my life, but I guess in this day and age it is everything to my peers. I'd like to think that saving myself for marriage makes me unique and has taught me more about myself. I'd like to think that by making positive decisions in life, I'd hopefully spread positivity. Sadly, I've received more uncomfortable and negative responses to my virginity than positive. A lot of times when people learn that I am a virgin & plan on saving it, people's perception of me almost always change. It's almost as if at that point I become someone they can't talk to. I often times get placed under categories that don't really encapsulate my whole being at all. A lot of times people assume I think I'm better than them. It is assumed that I'm judgmental and narrow minded. I am taken as an old fashion, conservative Christian who isn't conforming with society. As I'm writing this I hope to break the ideas placed on those waiting until marriage.

I know I don't owe an explanation to anyone, but for my own sake and my feelings I'd like to share my reasonings for wanting to stay pure.

At a young age, my mom made it a priority to start my "brainwashing" early. She exposed me to controversial topics and helped me develop a perspective on my faith life; this includes the sex talk. I think what ultimately made the difference for me was that my mom never actually told me "sex is bad" "don't have sex, you'll get pregnant" "sex is bad for you" and other common forms of denormalizing sex. Instead, my mom tried to familiarize the act of sexual intercourse because indeed, it is a normal part of our humanity. She allowed me to understand that our bodies have natural cravings, desires, and needs and that it is perfectly okay. Behind our physical bodies there is a spiritual part to us; the desires we have as humans such as hunger, thirst, and sex are all natural but also have a responsibility that needs to be understood. It was these early teachings that ultimately allowed me to develop my own opinions on my sexuality. Never has my mom said she would disown me if I lost my virginity. What she did do was give me perspective and teach me to value my body and to be in control of my life. It would be unfair of me to say that I made this decision without the influence of my mom, but at the same time my mom's influence can only go so far. What she's taught me will forever be instilled in me and has allowed me to maturely make decisions for my life on my own. I'm not saving myself for or because of my mom, I'm saving myself because it is what I want for my life.

So let me make something very clear. I chose to make a promise to save myself until marriage. I am choosing to save myself until marriage and I will choose that everyday until I am married. I believe that my body is a gift and a blessing. I believe that not only am I worth the wait, but my body is a temple. I am worthy of love, respect, dignity and praise. I am unique, smart and full of life. I have much to offer intellectually, spiritually and athletically. I have history and am working towards my future. With that being said, I want my future spouse to realize these things about me and love them completely as I love myself. I want our relationship to be so grounded in love that by the time we get to marriage, we have already conquered so much together and know each other completely. I don't think I'm missing out and no I'm not nervous for an awkward wedding night. It doesn't keep me up at night wondering what sex is like and being sexually inexperienced does NOT scare me. I'm not sheltered. I'm not a prude. I'm not boring. I'm not a goodie goodie. My individual story, my interests, my talents, my dreams, my personality, my work ethic, my heart, my mind and my values are what define me, NOT my virginity. MY choices are MY choices and they don't affect you in anyway unless you want them to. You don't have to wait, chances are you and I are not getting married! Me choosing to wait until marriage is no different than you deciding to eat breakfast in the morning. Life goes on it's not that serious.