Have you looked back on a chapter of your life and wished you could have been a different version of yourself? Maybe a kinder version of yourself who would have reached out to that person in need. A version of yourself that learned to say "no" instead of detrimentally overloading your schedule. Perhaps a version of yourself that could have excelled, even when the chips were down.

If we're honest, we've all experienced chapters of our life where we just didn't feel quite like ourselves. A feeling as if something inside of us had passed away.

November of 2014 was when I lost myself.

I came down with what I thought at the time to be just a typical cold. After I couldn't shake it for a couple of weeks, my doctor put me on meds for a severe sinus infection. This was only the beginning of what would be a long year of 2015 full of both chronic physical and mental illness.

I started 2015 with high hopes as to where I saw the year going. We often talk about "right person, wrong time" when we refer to failed relationships. I've found it to be a fitting way to describe my relationship with 2015. I had been extrovert who spent every waking hour being surrounded by his friends and a family. The type of person who could share life stories with a park bench. 2015 held great promise for me on all of those levels. I was blessed with so many incredible opportunities to continue to chase after my wildest dreams.

What went so wrong that by early spring of this year, I suffered from the most severe depression of my life? Unsure when I'd feel like myself again, where my life was going, second-guessing all my decisions up to that point. I was now isolated, alone, and terribly afraid. It was at that point I realized what a strange place I had been in for the past year. The whole year had been me wanting so desperately to feel like myself again. When I hadn't been fighting off physical illness, I was constantly warding off crippling anxiety.

2015 had offered everything I had hoped and dreamed it could be, but on a personal level, I felt I was not prepared for everything it had to offer. There were so many opportunities that I missed out on because of physical and mental limitations.

I began to think about the people I was meeting. They weren't getting to met the "real me." They must think I'm insane. I must seem so distant, rude or disinterested.

After spending a great time thinking, praying, and looking back on this past year, I had come to realize that maybe my thinking was all wrong.

Are you in a place where you feel like you've lost yourself? Do you ever feel alone? Lost? Incapable of fostering lasting relationships with the people you encounter? I am a man of faith and do believe that God is working behind the scenes in ways that we can never imagine. Regardless of your own personal beliefs, I hope these lessons can resonate with you. They are for anyone who feels they've lost their way:

There is no wrong time. Every person is sent in your life for a reason. Although this season has been difficult and I have often felt incapable of offering a level of friendship I had once given, I know that each and every person I come in contact with was sent for some purpose in my life. I have been overwhelmed by the level of support and encouragement I have received acquaintances. Both during my time in New York, back in North Carolina, and all the many friends I have made networking.

Our struggles can inspire others. As we ride this rollercoaster of life and enter seasons where we feel out of touch and outside of our comfort zone, we can offer a powerful example to others. Our limitations don't define us. When I had thought that my struggle was only isolating me, I realized that it was actually bringing people into my life in ways I had never imagined. We connected through the commonality of our struggles. We've walked alongside each other on the darkest of days.

This is only a chapter of our story. It's easy to get caught in the moment and feel as though we're drowning. I've had to remind myself time and time again that this story is not my whole book. This is merely a chapter in my story. If we pick up a novel and only read a portion where protagonist has been struck down, we can't see the beauty of him or her rising to the challenge.

Don't compare yourself to your peers. Everyone has their own story. We all fight battles that the people around us will never see. Instead of focusing on personal progress, we are often tempted to look around at others and wish we were like them. It isn't until we can look introspectively to see how much we have grown. Through our trials we are stronger than we were yesterday.

I often feel like a boat out at sea. Rocking on the waves of life. I'm ever-wishing to find an island where I can dock. A place where I can step on to dry land and be embraced, loved, and feel like myself once again. I've begun to realize that I've visited many islands over this past year. Each island with unique people who have aided me on my journey. I'm learning to be at peace when I look back on last year and all the ways I've grown thus far in 2016.

I hope this aids you on your journey. Together we will learn, love, grow, and find ourselves once more.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”
― A.A. Milne