Reading "Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky over and over again got me through some of the toughest times in my life. Chbosky puts feelings we have into words and reassures the reader that it is OK to feel they way we feel. He makes every character relatable to someone. Whether you're more like Patrick or Sam, you understand and feel for them as they go through life as told by Charlie. When the book was turned into a movie in 2012, and the amazing Emma Watson was chosen to play Sam, my obsession turned. With every character so accurately represented and my visions of the living room routine displayed in front of my eyes, I was in awe. Hat’s off to you, Chbosky. Here are just a few of the times life made more sense because of you.
“…because things change, and friends leave, and life doesn’t stop for anybody”
Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to keep everything the same, and we forget that change is natural and healthy. Life is a long journey filled with experiences that are begging to be had. Chbosky is right, you can’t stop the journey of life… so you mine as well accept, adjust to and enjoy what comes your way.
“And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have. Good and bad.”
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When everyone around you is remind you "someone else has it worse" your emotions become destructive. There is no need to diminish the way you are feeling based on what others are dealing with. As Chbosky says here, we all have what we have and comparing that to others doesn't make it more bearable.
"You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love."
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Love is much, much more than putting others first. As Sam points out in this quote, putting yourself last is not love. It is extremely difficult to accept love from others if you don't love yourself, so only loving others, will result in feeling unloved back.
"I am both happy and sad at the same time, and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be."
To me, this is one of the greatest things Chbosky added into this book. He put a feeling that so many people experience and struggle with into words. Once it's said out loud, and the reader knows that other people have felt it, it is much easier to accept. Once being happy and sad at the same time is something other people can relate to, figuring out why you're feeling it becomes less of a concern.
"It's strange because sometimes I read a book, and I think I am the people in the book."
Case and point. After reading Perks of Being a Wallflower 300 times, I began to feel like the characters. Like a little part of be had become Patrick, and like I had learned from the experiences Sam and Charlie had. It's crazy how an author like Chbosky can make hit so close to home for so many people using solely his words.
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
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It only makes sense that this is the most famous quote from the book. In eight words, Chbosky ties in his whole message. As Charlie says this to Sam, every reader feels something. Why do we let people treat us the they do? Why do we deny love coming from all different angles of our lives? If we truly believe that we don't deserve any better than the way others treat us, we will accept the things they say is definitive truth. And if we truly believe that we don't deserve to be loved, and that there is nothing lovable about us, we will push away any love that is given to us. In my eyes, this statement alone is Chbosky's greatest breakthrough. Romantic love, family love, platonic love and self love all hold true to this statement.
So if you haven't read Perks of Being a Wallflower, and you're a little lost in life, go pick up a copy. You will find clarity beyond the quotes above and I can guarantee Stephen Chbosky will positively change your life.
