In this day and age, virginity is almost seen as a golden trophy or a disease. All around college campuses, young women become victims of sexual harassment and rape while trying to further their education. Young teen mothers are showcased on television shows and earn stardom from documenting their lives for all of us to view. So why when someone says “I’m a virgin” does it come off as a joke? Why when you tell a guy friend, do they either laugh or make a suggestive comment? The topic of virginity seems to either repulse some or entice others in an odd game of who's had sex.
Since the beginning of time, we’ve placed women on this imaginary golden pedestal where we can view her. We turn her into a commodity, something that can be bought and paid for, dehumanizing a woman to less than a man, based on her sex. In history classes, we learn about fourteen-year-olds married off to aging kings and accept it as fact without really connecting to the fact that child marriage still occurs in some parts of the world. Young girls are sold to older men because of their youth and virginity. The counter to these examples is the religious based abstinence until marriage which has it’s own issues. Giving a bunch of sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds pamphlets on abstinence and avoiding teaching sexual education diminishes the amount of knowledge young people will know about their own bodies, preventing understanding. It is not at all preventative to teen pregnancy and it only harms young females who don't understand the repercussions of having unprotected sex. Your purity rings won't prevent teenagers from exploring their bodies.
Entering college as freshmen this year, we’re bombarded with questions about our sexuality and even professors make references to dating and relationships in their classes. Being someone who’s never dated and is a virgin, it creates an isolating effect. When someone finds out you're a virgin, a whole bunch of questions is asked. Do you identify as LGBTQ? Do you not like sex? Is there something wrong with you down there? After awkwardly answering these questions and eventually saying “I’m just not interested” they give you a funny look and kind of laugh at themselves like “what’s wrong with you?” On the other side of the fence is the increasing number of young men who target female virgins as a sexual game, once again, turning the female into a commodity he owns. By taking her virginity, he owns a part of her according to him. This "ownership" feeling seems to only furthermore inflate the ego and increase rape culture and slut shaming. Romantic relationships can be ended when the female is unwilling to have sex with her partner despite the pressure that he will end the relationship because of this.
Why does it seem to matter to others if you’re having sex or not? It's nobody else’s business besides your own and your doctor's. As long as you keep yourself healthy and protect yourself, no one else has to be involved. It’s your body and you are free to do with it as you seem fit, whether that’s staying a virgin or entering into a physical relationship with someone else. No one else can tell you not to have sex but no one else should force you into feeling you have to. You are the only one who can make that decision for you.
