More accurate than the Myers-Briggs Test, more seasonally precise than astrology, there is only one true way to determine your personality: your favorite Thanksgiving dish. With so many delicious options the food that rises above the rest in your eyes is the key to unlocking your inner psyche. See what your favorite dish has to say about you.
Turkey
You are the wholesome all-American type and most likely a neat-o dad. Your sweater-vest collection is legendary and you’re looking forward to spending your day tricking out that bird just like you’ve been tricking out that clunker in your garage for the past ten years. Even though you purchased it encased in plastic from the local Stop & Shop you have proven yourself superior to this creature and will now devour it, embracing your place at the top of the species pyramid.
Cranberry Sauce
Your favorite dish is just like your personality, sweet and tart. You sarcasm could cut glass but you still know how to be charming when you need to be, like having Thanksgiving dinner with your significant other’s family. You are also highly competitive and will no doubt crush everyone in a post-dessert game of Jenga.
Pumpkin Pie
You are five years old, at least at heart. Chances are you’ve been savoring this classic fall flavor in all of its forms since September, but nothing can beats the original. Forget loading up on turkey and stuffing, desert is your main event and you’re saving room. Patience however is not your virtue, and you often find yourself reading the ending of a book first or eating all the M&Ms out of the trail mix. Life is short, why not enjoy it?
Stuffing
You are a foodie. The way the savory flavors of the bread, broth, and vegetables mingle in your mouth is close to a religious experience. You appreciate the finer things in life, like eco-tourism, modern art, and hot yoga. Much like your obsession with damp bread, your greatest joy in life is over-glorifying very mundane objects and activities like paint splatters and sweating. Make sure to snap a pic of your plate to share on Instagram #foodporn #cleaneating
Green Bean Casserole
With three kids and a full time job your contribution to the potluck at your parents’ house is a can of soup mixed with a can of green beans topped with the crunchy onion stuff that you found in the same aisle. Now you can finally leave the kids at the little card table and enjoy a relaxing meal. Unless Cousin Susan is here. She knows what she did at that PTA fundraiser. Oh god, Susan is here. Well, at least you also remembered to pick up the Merlot.
Yams with Marshmallows
Much like the unlikely combination of a hot-chocolate topping with candied yams, you pride yourself on your eccentricity. Never one to take yourself too seriously, you are likely the “fun” aunt or uncle who laughs a little too loudly and gives the kiddy table “the talk” after a couple of glasses. You may not have been invited last year because of the ...ahem… turkey-as-a-hat incident of ‘13, but this year you’re back and better than ever! Now who wants to see pictures of you and your fourth husband in Vegas?
Mashed Potatoes
For over 30 years you have hosted your family on Thanksgiving and by now you have your potato recipe down to a science. If only the grandchildren would get off Spacebook and Snatch-chat long enough to compliment your hard work. You’ve taken that “Cyberspace for Seniors” course down at the rec center. You know the 411 on all their “lol”s and “brb”s and “lmnop”s. Oh well, if they can’t enjoy the creamy deliciousness you just scooped onto their plate then maybe they won’t be getting those socks for Christmas after all!
Mulled Wine and Baked Brie
You are a mingling force of nature. Your aesthetic of choice is gala-chic and Thanksgiving is no exception. Always the over-achiever of the family, you put your trust fund to good use and built a corporate empire while still managing to raise 2.5 over-achieving kids along with your spouse. The eldest was just admitted to Vassar College which you will manage to humble-brag to every family member between sips of wine and bites of cheese. You’re not keeping up with the Jones’s, the Jones’s are keeping up with you.
