“Age is nothing but a number.” Yeah, right! I’ve dealt with almost 20 years of living where I thought I regretted some things where, in the end, it was all but a lesson. That may have sounded like I said it in a tone of despair, but even with good things, I’ve learned a lot. But I’ve grown up to remember, there’s still more to come. As of right now, here are some of the things that came with age.
Knowledge about Boys
For some of you that may be reading this, you may know that I was in an almost two-year relationship with a boy that I’m going to call Antonio (names have been changed throughout this whole article). We did everything with each other. We always spent every holiday with my family that they grew to treat him like a member. When I was away from him, he became insecure enough to constantly ask me what I was up to, who I was with, and when the next time we’d see each other would be. From the falling of our relationship, I’ve come to realize that no other boy will treat me the way he did. Yeah, so maybe he was up my ass too much, but he always listened, was one step ahead of me, and was very attentive to detail. But we were each other’s first real boyfriend/girlfriend, and he didn’t know any better. As I’m in college now, men aren’t that eager to try and give you the world. My family even told me I wouldn’t find a guy like Antonio, but I always brushed it off, thinking they were lying. I’ve come to find out they weren’t. I underestimated what the real world of boys would bring me, and that’s singlehood. But this isn’t a rant, the single life is great, too!
Being Single
I can now look at guys without having to be lowkey about it! When I was in that relationship with Antonio, I loved him, but I didn’t love myself. And being single now has taught me to take care of myself and finally love the person I have grown to become. I am now mentally stronger, enough to understand that it’s sometimes OK to put yourself before others whereas I would always put him over me. I’ve learned to love my body as my own and not to dress for boys but for myself. For once, I’m not having to run around looking for a gift for every anniversary, birthday, and Christmas all in one year. I also don’t have to worry about having a pristine image of my relationship because I’m not in one!
Leaving my Family
This is the part where I go away to a college six hours away and “leave the nest” while I give my mother empty nest syndrome and my sister a missing Just Dance partner. I had a traumatizing experience my sophomore year of college where I went to Vermont for an internship and was so homesick in only a week that I faked an injury to go home, forcing my stepdad to drive such a long time to get me. (Mom, when you read this, I’m sorry you had to find out the truth this way.) Let’s just say it was the beginning of summer, and I was grounded for the whole break. But it was a big deal for me and my family for me to go away to school. My mom would hide her doubt of me wanting to stay here in school, but I proved her wrong. I stayed, didn’t fake any injuries to go back home, and I’m growing up. I have taken advantage of being smothered with attention and love, but being here in college taught me about the “real world.”
Giving it Your all in Friendships
There are a lot of people who have screwed me over, but just knowing that I gave it my all in those friendships doesn’t make me feel bad when they’re gone. You can’t tell whether you’re going to be long-term or short-term friends with someone once you first meet them, so always put your everything into friendships. I’m positive you’ll get something out of being a true friend, whether it’s from the wrongs people have done to you or the wrongs you have done to people. Everything is a learning lesson.
Adulting
20 is very different from 19. For starters, I’ll be dropping the teen part of the word, and it took me seven years to do it. I’ve learned that not all boys are the same, that leaving my family to attend school might’ve been harder on them than it has been on me, and that I’m currently making amazing friends with people that may last me a lifetime. I’m still on my adventure of life, and I have so much more to learn, but for now, I’m going to blow out that 20th candle and be grateful for everything I’ve accomplished and endured during my years of living. It came with twists and turns, but what's a fun ride without some ups and downs.
