When I was 11 years old I lost my best friend and role model, my grandmother. My Mimi was the most amazing woman you would have ever met. I was never the same after that.
Depression runs in my family, and my mom was worried that it had now taken its toll on me as well. After four long years of battling my depression, my mom finally gave in and took me to my doctor to get an antidepressant. I can’t imagine how hard that was for her. Parents are supposed to be able to cheer their kids up and wipe away the tears. As amazing as my mom is, not even she could manage to do that for me.
Since my freshman year of high school I have taken an antidepressant daily. I have never been scared to openly admit it or talk to people about why I take an antidepressant. However, there are so many people who are scared to talk about it. It’s the elephant in the room. People are embarrassed and ashamed to admit to others that they suffer from depression. So here are a few things that all of us want you to know about our depression.
It is not just “all in our head."
I have been told by too many people that my depression is a mental thing and I just need to get over it. So many people think that if I just decide to be happy, that it can happen. Yeah, if you’re just having a bad day, you can convince yourself to become happy. Depression is a whole other beast. I wish I could tell myself to get over it. I wish more than anything that I could just decide to be happy. Some days thinking happy thoughts aren’t enough for those of us who suffer from depression. Depression is real. It is an illness that affects more people than you probably thought.
With that being said, sometimes we are happy, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have depression.
The most common response I get from people when I tell them I have depression is, “but you always seem so happy and outgoing.” That’s probably because I don’t go around people when I am having a bad day. Yes, I am talkative. Yes, I am loud and crazy. Yes, I am a people, person. But, yes I have bad days. Yes, I go through depressive episodes where all I do is the bare minimum, work and school, but I don’t let my depression define me. I take advantage of my good days because they are truly a gift from God.
Don’t judge me for missing that class or that shift at work because I wasn’t “actually sick."
I may not be physically sick, but I promise what I am feeling is much worse. Someday depression takes over, and it is almost impossible to talk yourself out of bed. We would appreciate it if you treated our illness like any physical illness. Be kind and understanding, and don’t make us feel guilty for missing out on things.
The best gift you could give to someone with depression is love.
Simply, just love them. Be there. Make them feel like they are not alone. Listen to them. Check in on them. Treat them like any other friend. Don’t make them feel different or crazy. Invite them to hangout. If they say no, don’t make them feel bad about it.
We are fighting a battle just like everyone else.
I have never been ashamed of my depression because I know it is more common than most think. I know everyone has a battle to fight, and this is mine.
To those of you who suffer from depression too, keep going. Life is way too beautiful to quit. To those who have loved ones with depression, keep loving and understanding, it means more to them than you could ever know. To those who have never been affected by depression, thank your lucky stars, but keep an open mind and caring heart because sooner or later it might make its way into your life as well. The more we talk about depression and other mental illnesses the less of a stigma will surround them. The world would be a much better place if we all just loved and understood a little better.
