So to start I’ll just iron out any uncertainties. I have two moms, one of them being my birth mother and the other having adopted me as her child. I’ve known them both to be my mom throughout my entire life. They met before I was born and have been together ever since although they were only able to get married a few years ago. Long story short, my parents are lesbians. Now that we have that figured out let’s jump in!

Our society has gone through many changes in the past decade in regards to acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community. There have been many incredible steps in the right direction. But those steps did not come before same-sex couples and their children had to endure some major discrimination. As a young child, I never felt that my family was different, it was all I had ever known so it was my “normal”. Many people were completely accepting of my family but then there were those that weren’t. Kids, parents and even teachers always had something to say about it and I quickly became very aware how different my family was. One moment that sticks out in my mind was when I noticed that one of my favorite teachers had a different attitude towards me after both of my moms showed up to parent-teacher conferences. It wasn’t hard for me to put two and two together. She wasn’t accepting of same-sex relationships. I mean, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it felt unfair to be treated differently because of the lifestyle my parents lived. Even as I progressed through high school, I was nervous to tell anyone. I found as I got older, more and more people were accepting or at least had a neutral standpoint on the subject. Don’t get me wrong there were still haters but it seemed that, if anything, there was more curiosity. One of the questions I get most frequently asked is, “Oh, okay so is one of them considered your step-mom?”. Ummmm no, neither of them is my step-mom, they are both just mom. I even had a mother who has a gay son ask me this once and it blew my mind. I wanted to say, “Ohhhh, so when your son marries the man of his dreams and has a child will he be considered the kids step-dad?”. No, nope, nada, he will just be a dad. They will both just be a dad.

Now, let me interject for a second because, to be honest my parents are going to read this and I can just picture their hearts breaking based on what I’ve written so far. But stop mom don’t cry! There has been so much good that has come from growing up with two moms. My parents gave me an incredible childhood, they supported me no matter what and I am so grateful for that. They are amazing parents and one of the things that bother me the most is that some people have the idea that because a child grows up with two parents of the same sex- they are worse off. I don’t think it gets much more insulting than that. That would mean that a male and a female, which make up a “normal” couple, have better parenting skills and are, therefore, better parents strictly because of their heterosexuality? That’s almost comical in its ignorance… almost. But you know what? I would argue that I, as the child of a same-sex couple, turned out quite alright and because I grew up with two moms I may even be ahead of the curve. This is because I have been taught the importance of acceptance and of living as your most authentic self throughout my entire life. I’ve learned so many important life lessons just from the wisdom that my parents have. Let’s face it, a lot of people who come out of the closet in this day and age are met with quite a bit of acceptance compared to when my parents came out. And I promise you I am not trying to undermine your pain and struggles if you are someone my age who is coming out. But just think, my parents came out when the LGBTQ+ community wasn’t widely accepted and when the idea of being happily married to the person they loved was almost inconceivable. The fact that my parents, and other members of the LGBTQ+ community, were brave enough to be their true selves in a time like that is inspiration enough for a generation. It truly makes me so proud to be their daughter.

Now let’s talks about when things shifted. It was when I started my freshmen year of college at Marymount Manhattan College in New York City. I immediately was immersed into a world of unconditional acceptance of me and my family. It was such an amazing feeling to not only be completely comfortable letting people know I had two moms but to have it be something that others found inspiring. A large chunk of the student body at Marymount identifies as being part of the LGBTQ+ community. One of the most eye-opening and touching moments of my life was when a fellow student of mine, after finding out that I had two moms, sat next to me in the lounge. She said, “I’m a lesbian and I have always been told that I won’t be a successful parent because of my lifestyle so I always thought that I would never have kids. Now that I know you I realize that statement has no legitimacy. You and your parents have given me hope for my future”. Okay, so I’ll give you a second to wipe away that tear because holy cow that was so touching. You good? Okay, good. You can’t even imagine how her words made me feel, I was beaming with pride.

So, if you are like me and are growing up with two moms or two dads, NEVER be embarrassed by them and always stand up for them and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community and are worried about the idea of having children because of what a few stupid people say then know that you will, no doubt, be an incredible parent. If you want kids to have those kids because they will be some of the luckiest children alive! Lastly, if you are part of the LGBTQ+ community and you have a child, know that you are doing a great job.
You are an amazing parent and that that kid has every chance of being successful!