It's the most wonderful time of year people, it's Christmas time! As every person both young and old knows, it's time to make lists and go shopping for friends and family, and hope that their credit cards and piggy banks don't turn into barren wastelands. As a broke single college girl, all I can ask for in the world is Noah Centineo, the absolute model of male perfection for so many girls throughout the world.
Now, of course, I can't ask jolly old Saint Nick to abduct Noah and bring him to me for Christmas because that would simply be insane. I guess I'll just have to ask for these other things instead.
1. A Dunkin gift card with, I don't know, a thousand dollars on it?
I'm trying my best to kick the habit, but going to Dunkin is something I rely on because dining hall food actually turns your stomach into slop. Dunkin gets me through 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the library Saturday and Sunday before and during finals, so having a thousand dollar gift card would mean so much!
2. No more fire alarms being triggered at ungodly hours next semester
Stop burning your popcorn and your rice, you obnoxious people. Seriously. I don't appreciate being awoken from my slumber by your foolery. This isn't a stocking stuffer but it would really make my last semester living on campus great.
3. Victorian literature to quench my thirst for 19th Century romance
Sweep me off thine feet, oh handsome but faulted protagonist! I want to smell that new book smell while I dive nose deep into a romance that will make me forget how painfully single I am this holiday season. Jane Austen, I'm looking at you girl.
4. "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" on DVD
Please... It fits in my stocking and everything!
5. "Sweet But Psycho" to stop taking over my brain
Santa, leave me some memory erasing cookie or something because I can't function without listening to this song six times a day. I have a problem Santa, I really do.
6. Fuzzy socks that I can't get enough of
I don't care what they look like or where they are from, but I will ask you to find them and put them in my stocking until it overflows.
7. A French Bulldog puppy
I will name him Brian and if it's a girl her name is Mia. I want one, but two would be great! Please, Santa, they'll fit in my stocking quite well.
Scrunchies are a collector's item for millennial women. They serve as both wrist candy and a means to keep your hair out of your face when you have things to do. I'll take them all.
Something with glitter, or maybe stars or something hipster and trendy because I love to be on point and fashion forward. My phone case right now is cute but she's taking a beating. Time for a new one!
10. Motts Fruit Snacks because I'm addicted
Yes, I am five and no I have no shame in admitting this is one of the best foods in the world. I can eat these as my last meal and I'd die a happy woman.
These are sooooo cute and they'd go with everything I own. So when I want to just dress straight fifty shades of black, these can complete my look.
12. Rest because the bags under my eyes are not designer
My body has taken a beating this semester and I'd love the gift of rest. It's free and it goes to a great cause.
13. Cute winter clothes to stunt on my haters
All of my haters can continue looking like trash while I rise above and look fabulous. Cute clothes are essential and I can always use more, because I always have to look my best, unless its finals, by then I don't care.