Everyone Has a Story.

I had this odd feeling building up inside me, it tugged and pulled at me. It was relentless, an inner voice started to speak. It would say many things like “Just one more, it’s okay.” Or “It was really good, just have one more.” My favorite phrase was “Why do you always need to be the good guy, let loose.” Though the voice kept repeating itself like a broken record in my mind, I blocked it out. The feeling taking over my body, this odd warm foreign feeling would wash over me. Though it felt and sounds like it was a nice feeling, it was far from nice and more dangerous than ever. The feeling tried to take control of my body, because I ignored the inner voice the warm feeling tried to override me. I fought it back, and won the battle but not the war.

I am not an alcoholic by any means, but due to my biological mother’s background and not knowing what she did while I was growing within her body. I know that this interesting habit was passed down to me, and since I know this I am able to be smart and battle it.

I am not much of a drinker for many reasons, not a big fan of it would rather have juice, and tea and water then drink some booze. I can have fun without a drink, and I am not a fan of having someone take care of me when I’ve had too many. I am usually the person taking care of others who have had too much and need help.

Some say that alcoholism isn’t a thing, it’s not an addiction and believe that people who struggle with it can just brush it off like it’s nothing. I’m not an alcoholic by any means but due to my personal background I know what the feeling is like, I understand the battle that some have to endure. Though I’ve never been drunk or even tipsy, I have experienced the feeling and the warmth that alcohol offers.

I want others to understand that not everyone is like me, not everyone has self-control and able to say no and fight the feeling off. I’m not perfect by any means, one big reason that I am undefeated in this battle with alcohol is that I know what’s happening to me, I am aware of what is occurring and this helps me fight and win the battle. I am stubborn and refuse to give in, I refuse to ever let my undefeated streak end. What keeps my streak going is the fear of what would happen if I lost, the fear of losing this battle what will ensue? I choose not to find this out, I refuse to let this streak end. Therefore, I don’t drink, now some would ask and say don’t you feel left out, don’t people judge you? I always respond with if they are your true friends, they will honor and respect you and not ever guilt you into drinking.

Don’t get me wrong and think that I am condemning drinking, to each his own I say and I won’t judge at all. We all have personal demons and inner battles that people do not know about, some struggle while others remain undefeated. Respect each other and let them know that you are there for them if the need was to ever arise.