Someone very close to me became diagnosed with depression earlier last year. It was a really rough time and came with many obstacles. However, seeing this friend battle with this mental illness allowed me to understand that it is true that not many people understand the implications of it and the extent to which it affects a person.

I came to understand that depression isn't just simply being "sad." It's not being very upset over something. It's not something that can be turned around with a funny joke or happy movie. It stems much deeper than that. It's not a mood. It's not a choice. It's the way a person's brain is functioning.

The brain of a person affected by depression actually functions quite differently than a brain unaffected by depression. While sometimes a chemical imbalance in the brain is what causes depression (specifically a lower level of the neurotransmitter serotonin, which affects happiness), there are other factors in the brain that can lead to depression as well.

For instance, some people diagnosed with depression possess a smaller hippocampus than a person without the illness. The hippocampus is a part of the brain responsible for memory and emotions, which explains why someone with a smaller one would be susceptible to negative emotions. However, a recent study done by an international team of researchers found that depression comes first, then the hippocampus becomes affected and can lead to shrinking.

In addition, depression has also been found to be genetic as well. A certain gene called the "serotonin transporter gene" often determines whether or not an individual will become affected by depression. Everyone receives two of these genes, one from each parent, and whether the two genes received are short or long determines the extent to which a person is affected by depression. For example, if an individual receives two short genes from each parent, then they are at greater risk to become depressed than a person that received two longer genes. It also holds true that if an individual received one long gene and one short gene, that they have a decent chance to become depressed as well.

So, not to overwhelm you with medical and science facts, but these factors are important to know in order to understand the truth of depression. Interpreting it without these facts and as anything less than what it truly is, belittles those suffering from it.

I know all of this to be true because I am that friend.

I became diagnosed with the illness last summer of 2016.

It was the hardest news to receive and has been an ongoing battle ever since then.

The things that normally made me so happy no longer brought me any joy. Music couldn't cure it. My family couldn't cure it. My friends couldn't. Even my favorite places on this planet that once made me feel so content and secure could not cure it.

And I knew no one understood. My friends didn't understand why I wasn't snapping out of it and my parents would ask me why I just couldn't choose to be happy and "not think about it."

They didn't get it. And how could I expect them to? But it wasn't and isn't something you can just "snap out of" or not think about. It is a part of you.

When my doctor told me, I instantly thought, "How could this be me?" I had always considered myself a happy person and was devastated to find out I had depression. I did not want to admit it to myself and despised any use of the word where my name was also included. Hearing it spoken followed by my name was as if multiple weights were dropped on my heart and stomach. It was the hardest thing to hear, and even harder to admit to myself, let alone say it out loud.

And, believe me, writing this all down now is also one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I had been struggling with extreme sadness ever since the beginning of 2016 when my two-year relationship ended. I have mentioned it before in other articles, but essentially the way in which the break-up occurred was cruel and ruthless (on my ex's part). Someone I thought of so positively and had the utmost respect for demolished all of that within the blink of an eye. It completely destroyed my concept of myself and what I thought to be true of relationships. It really did break me down. It is kinda crazy what heartbreak can do to a person.

So that started it all. What I thought to be just sadness over a breakup spiraled into something so much more, which stemmed deeper than just the break-up itself. Like I said, it ruined my self-concept and self-esteem. I truly had to start all over.

But, thankfully, I did.

It was the hardest battle, but slowly and surely I picked myself up. Piece by piece. No one else did it for me. I did not depend on another guy to do it for me. I chose myself and put myself back together.

I knew that I did indeed matter, that I was worth more than what I went through. I got my confidence back and refused to let it go.

I did not let depression define me. And while it is not something I have completely defeated, I still do not let it define me to this day. It still lingers sometimes. But I refuse to let it consume me. I will continue to carry myself through to the light at the end of the tunnel because I know that I can.

And to anyone else out there struggling, I know that you can, too.