A Letter to Those in a Long-Distance College Relationship

A Letter to Those in a Long-Distance College Relationship

Love is love no matter the distance.

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To Whom it May Concern,

I'd like to start by introducing myself. My name is Greg, we probably do not know each other, and we likely never will. This is of no importance, however; I already know enough about you, and you already know enough about me. I am in a long-distance college relationship, and if you are too, then I am happy to say we are both addicted to the same drug

I know the highs that you get when you see your significant other. We are on first name bases with the butterflies in our stomachs when we see them walk off that train and run into our arms. Like lions, we know the pride of showing our loved ones off to all of our friends whom we brag about our relationships to. We have no choice but to savor every moment of the short time we can spend together.

Unfortunately, we also experience the same crash. We have fast-passes for the roller coaster that is our emotional well-being; we know every twist and turn but yet the feelings are always as strong as the first time we rode it. We all attend the same rehab when our loved ones leave, we all seek the same treatment for our confused hearts.

I am here to not only remind of you how courageous and strong-willed you are for enduring this journey with your loved one, but to offer the testimonial of other couples who have experienced what you are experiencing. You are not alone. At the end of the day, week, month, or whenever you see your loved one next, you will be reminded of why you are choosing to ride the coaster, why you are so addicted to this powerful drug. We know how quickly the bad memories of the time spent apart melt away when we see our loved ones. And that makes it all worth it.

My utmost respect and admiration to you and your loved one.

Sincerely,

Greg

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I Don't Believe In Love At First Sight, But There's No Time Frame For Love

The clock does not tick to time you on how fast you take to fall in love. The clock only ticks for the people that love genuinely... and eternally.

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"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."
- Henry Van Dyke

"For those who love, time is eternity." The end of this magnificent statement by poet Henry Van Dyke epitomizes the philosophical ideas that are parallel to contextualizing what 'love' is and how 'falling in love' varies from its common misperceptions and what people mistake it to be.

There is a strong distinction between infatuation and love. Often times, people convince themselves they found the loves of their lives and believe they are head over heels for the person they, in reality, only found a temporary liking to. Infatuation is defined as "an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something."

There are two factors that often contribute to an infatuated mindset:

First, a physical attraction. A person is often so warped up in a physical liking to another person that they don't take the time to take into account the other person's personality. It is a hindrance of a connection between two souls. The attraction is rooted in sexual desire with a complete lack of emotional bond.

Second, the idea of being with someone, rather than actually loving that person for who they are. I am a victim of this personally. There was a person who came into my life VERY briefly, and there was a fast and scary attachment on his end. When I ended things with him, he disparaged me and threatened me. His behavior not only shows his own psychological issues but also the fact that he never cared about me, to begin with. He was only interested in the IDEA of a perfect relationship and the IDEA of loving someone else, rather than take his time and fall for me as I am.

That is why I don't believe in love at first sight because it is always infatuation. It is a facade. A lie. None of it is real love.

Although I oppose this ideology of love at first sight, I don't think that means there is a time frame that is pertinent to when falling in love may occur. There is no way of determining how long it takes to fall in love with the right person. Depending on the two souls and how much time you spend with one another each day, it could be days, months, or even years. Love is hard. It is an abstract principle that cannot be explained with a straightforward answer.

Only you can really tell yourself if you're in love or not. Only you can determine the intensity of your feelings and if these feelings elicit comfort, stability, and pride. Don't let people invalidate your love if it happens more quickly than usual. Sometimes, it just happens. People get lucky and find their person instantaneously. Nobody REALLY knows the emotional connection you share with anyone or the ins-and-outs of your relationship EXCEPT YOU. They aren't in a relationship with you. Only you and your partner are in the relationship. Even if it's the other way around, sometimes the intensity doesn't happen right away. Some people love faster than others. We all have on our own clocks and schedules. It will all be OK. You are OK.

The clock does not tick to time you on how fast you take to fall in love. The clock only ticks for the people that love genuinely... and eternally.

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When It Comes To Love, 'You Know When You Know' —  And These 10 People Had Really Sweet Ways They Knew

You fall in love slowly, then all at once.

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The purpose of being in a relationship is to marry and start a family and life with that person. But it seems like now-a-days everyone just dates to date and they don't really love the person that they're with. So being the nosy person that I am, I got curious and asked a bunch of people when they knew that they truly loved the person they're with. Some didn't have an answer, and realized they say "I love you", just to say it, which is a crappy thing to do, and only furthers my point that people date just to date. Yet some people had super sweet answers, so I'm sharing them.

1. "It was about a month into our relationship. I saw how much she really cared for me...it helped being friends beforehand since I already cared about her."

2. "It was the way he would treat me and his family. Also, the way he is passionate about the things he likes. He's a pain but at the end of the day, he's the one I want in my corner."

3. "When I first saw him. Seeing him in person, my heart did a little flutter and I knew he was the one. I've fallen in love with him in new ways everyday since."

4. "When he used his last $100 in his account to take me out to celebrate my acceptance to my major."

5. "The end of our first date. I didn't want him to leave and that was a feeling I've never had before."

6. "When he helped me get sober."

7. "When I felt comfortable talking about my awkward quirks with them."

8. "In the hallway in between classes in high school. He stopped me to ask about a Bruins game, and I just knew. I just had that feeling come over me and I could tell that he did too."

9. "When he accepted and love my daughter like she was his own."

10. "I think I'll fully know when I can trust them fully, romantically and sexually."

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