Personally, I give a lot in my relationships, as much as I possibly can. I feel emotions hard. I love harder, and I care a lot about the people in my life. So much that I give and give and get upset that I do not get the same energy back. It’s unfair to myself that I continue to do this. It’s unfair that the energy isn’t the same both ways in some relationships, but what I can do is control how much energy I give.
There’s nothing wrong with being a good friend, checking on your loved ones, trying your best. Communication is key in any relationship, whether it’s with parents, significant others, best friends.
What is wrong is doing those things, giving 110%, all that you can, and not getting those same things or affections back. Not that it’s expected every day, people need space, people need more love than usual some days. But when you give and give and never get the energy that you deserve, it’s time to re-evaluate.
Maybe you don’t have toxic people in your life, but maybe you’re being toxic to yourself. I realize that by doing as much as I do, I expect the same back and by not getting that same love and energy, it hurts me each and every time. I do not deserve that. No one does. Maybe these people just don’t understand, maybe they don’t know how hard you’re trying. Maybe they don’t want to give the same energy back. So, you need to focus your energy on other things, other people.
Don’t give up on people who still deserve friendship. Focus your energy wisely. Do not waste all of your energy into a few people. Re-evaluate the love and kindness that you have and give, and think about how much you can give to the people who give back. It is only fair to you that you are happy and the people in your life want to show as much love and kindness that you do. It is not fair to pour out all you have in your cup, only to have their’s overflowing and not pouring anything back into your’s.
Have those conversations with these people about how you are feeling. Do not stay in relationships where you do not feel worthy.
You can still be a good friend and not drain yourself dry. Be kind still, be caring, be loving, be giving, and have those high expectations. But do not waste your time and love and energy.
You are enough, you are a good friend, you’re wanted.
Do not give up.
