Dear Supportive Friend,
Major Depressive Disorder, or better known as Depression, is a hard thing to understand at times, and people often get frustrated with the individual affected. They cannot grasp the concept of what the individual is feeling internally because unlike a broken arm, it is not a visible pain. They relate it to a time where they felt really upset but got over it. So they see it as an overreaction. However, depression is not something so simple. It is a chemical imbalance that leaves the person to feel hopeless and lost. It is long term and sometimes unbearable. There are some things that people with depression would like you to know; to better understand.
- Depression is not something you can fix with happy videos and things they used to love doing. It lingers over their heads, and they lose interest in a lot of things they used to love doing when they didn’t have depression. Although the happy videos may help a little, so please keep that up. It’s pretty rad.
- Telling someone with depression to cheer up and shake it off will not do any good for them. It will make them feel as if they have to fake happiness because their true feelings annoy and make people uncomfortable. They cannot shake it off. It is a mental illness; not just a state of mind. Instead, maybe find a distraction or something they can place their focus on instead of their mind for a bit.
- They are not ignoring you or blowing you off. Sometimes it’s just hard for them to even leave their bed or feed themselves at times. Gathering up the energy to constantly keep in touch with people is exhausting mentally and physically some days. They love and care about you. It’s just too much most times. It’s not you. Stop taking it personally.
- Just because they have a good day does not mean their depression is completely gone. It is a disorder, and disorders don’t magically heal.
- If you truly want an accurate depiction of Major Depressive disorder, picture a time in your life that you felt the most upset, where something felt like the worst feeling in your life, and picture feeling that way every single day. That is how many people with depression feel daily.
- Some days it feels crippling, and they cannot function. This isn’t laziness and it hurts when people tell them to stop overreacting that people have it worse. They are aware people have it worse, but telling them that doesn’t make it any better.
- It is aggravating when a person compares them to other individuals who have depression. Every person handles it differently and some cases are worse than others. Do not judge by comparing two cases of depression. It is a chemical imbalance and they cannot help what is going on with their brain.
- You need to be understanding when they question if you actually like them. Depression leaves you feeling isolated and believing that everyone secretly hates you. They know it is irrational, but they can’t make the feeling go away. Be patient.
- Sometimes just your presence there is comforting. You could come over to watch a movie or just bake cookies. Just something simple can make them feel better.
- They are trying their best every day. They didn’t choose this for themselves. Please don’t blame them for being depressed. Stick around and let them know that you are they when they need you. That makes a world of a difference knowing they are not alone. Knowing someone cares makes it a little more bearable.
- You need to be patient with them while they are trying to find themselves again. They will be there one day. They notice your effort and are more than thankful for it.
