Let me start by saying that wanting a relationship is not something you should be ashamed of. When you reach that point where you’re over the dating around and the mind games, then you should celebrate, not be afraid to say it. But these days, I look around and see so many of my best friends being hurt and disappointed because they are spending too much of their time on boys that wouldn’t give them any of theirs. And the worst part of it all is that these beautiful and strong women that I am lucky to call my best friends are starting to believe they’re the problem. So to all of those girls that feel that way, it wasn’t you. It was him.
In my opinion, one of the worst things a person can do when it comes to a relationship is lead someone on. It isn’t fair to confuse someone else emotions because you are unsure of your own. If you don’t want a relationship, then there is nothing wrong with that! It’s good to spend time being single and getting to know yourself. But when you tell someone you don’t want to be in a relationship, then it isn’t okay for you to continue acting like you do. And to my fellow girls that feel stuck in the middle, the only person keeping you there is yourself. As I already said, you shouldn’t be embarrassed or afraid to ask for what you want and what you want is more than this confusing stage in between friends and more than friends. You want the real deal. The taking each other home to meet your parents. The good morning and good night texts. And the security and comfort that this person is your boyfriend and that you are their girlfriend. So if that’s what you really want, then why are you spending so much time over a boy that has made it clear that that’s not what he wants?
When you really like someone, you convince yourself that they’ll change their mind. Eventually, they will realize you two are perfect for each other and they’ll get over this “I don’t want a relationship” phase and everything will fall into place. But the truth is, that rarely, if at all, happens. And when it doesn’t, you tell yourself it was because you weren’t enough. You start thinking that you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, or any other insecurity that you’re struggling with. But if this boy doesn’t see how special you are, then he was the one who wasn’t enough.
I know it’s hard to believe that and to move on because I’ve been there, too. And it wasn’t until I started dating my boyfriend that I realized what a relationship should really be like. One thing that I’ve learned from my boyfriend is that you should be with someone who is truly happy to be with you. My boyfriend loves telling people that were dating. He genuinely loves being my boyfriend and it shows in his actions every day. You shouldn’t want to be with someone that you have to convince they should date you. And if they make excuses like that they have to focus on whatever sport they’re playing or that they don’t want to be tied down, then those are just excuses. Being in a relationship doesn’t suddenly make you bad at sports and it doesn’t mean you’re stuck with that person forever. A relationship is something that should make your life easier, not more stressful. If they can’t handle that, then they can’t handle you. And that’s something they can think about when they’re spending all that time by themselves. Because if you really like someone, then things like timing and sports won’t get in the way.
When it comes down to it, you shouldn’t have to wait on someone else. The only person you should wait for is yourself. Wait until you are truly ready. Wait until you meet someone that makes all the dating and all the bad first dates seem more than worth it. Don’t wait for someone else to recognize your value. Because if they haven’t already, then they never will. And you deserve so much more than that. Confidence and self-value are some of the most attractive qualities that a woman can have. So fearlessly ask for what you want. And if you get an answer that is anything less than what you deserve, then dust yourself off and move on. Because the only person that can truly break your heart is the very person that won’t do that to you. Wait for that guy. Because right at this very moment, he is somewhere out there and he’s waiting for a girl like you.
