I think every teenager once in their life has felt isolated or like they needed to run away from home. Matter of fact I know many teens in my life who do leave home for whether it may be a month to the rest of their lives. I know many teens who've felt like they've wanted to die at least once in their lives. Being a teenager is HARD. Being in high school is HARD. Take it from the girl who walked into high school with minor depression and walked out with PTSD and very bad anxiety.
I knew so many adults who told me high school was going to be one of the best times of my life. Trust me, I had some great memories with some great people. I almost wish I could do it over again and change the bad moments to good. But in the end, walking into that school everyday made my stomach churn so much I rarely ever made it into the building. As a freshman I walked into the building so excited for a new start, but that's not what I ended up getting. I ended up walking into what would be four years of intolerable people, rude teachers, and gross smells.
I knew going into this all that I was depressed. I had a sadness that would never go away. I hadn't been educated much on mental illnesses, quite frankly I didn't really know what they were. I soon would though. Somewhere between the stressful school work, peer pressure, sexual assault, bullying, and my first heartbreak, I lost it. I was going downwards really quick. I stopped going to school and was doing a lot of things I shouldn't be doing.
I know more than anyone how hard it is to get yourself to walk into class sometimes. Especially after missing one, knowing everyone is looking at you and wondering why you weren't in the last class you had. It gets hard. Not going back again seems like the better option to most, but it's not. It will never be.
There is nothing in my life that I regret more than not sucking it up and walking into the building everyday. I was supposed to be away at college by now, but since I didn't fight for myself I ended up graduating a year late and not going to the school I dreamed of when I had planned.
All I have to say is; if you don't want to be helped, you can't be.
