"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
- Albert Einstein
I am sure that my professors in college look at me in class and think a multitude of things ranging from "she needs to stop talking and moving around", to "she seems pretty lazy today," or maybe even "if she just tried a little more I'm sure she would understand." While the first may be true, the other two and the many other thoughts that go through my professors' heads aren't true. Learning does not come easily to me and I do not learn in the same ways that my classmates learn or maybe my professors themselves learned, but that does not make me lazy, unintelligent, or unmotivated. As I face some troubles this year dealing with professors and my learning disabilities there are some things that I wish that they knew.
1. We are NOT lazy or unmotivated.
I promise you that this is not the case. In fact, it is the complete opposite of that. I spend hours outside of class working on assignments, doing the readings, and looking through the materials trying to grasp what you talked about. What my classmates are able to understand and process during our class period takes me two or three times longer. I stress and care about every little detail in your class and give myself anxiety attacks over every assignment trying to show you that I do care.
2. We don't zone out or seem to not be paying attention by choice.
I promise you that I am thinking about and trying to process what you are saying and thinking about how it connects to what we are learning in class. If that is not the case, then it is when I am overwhelmed or frustrated. Sometimes class becomes too much. It seems as though sometimes I am in the front row of the world's fastest rollercoaster trying to read a book. I become frustrated and upset with myself and zone out trying to not show my emotions. Other times, I simply do not realize that I am even doing it.
3. I am not getting up out of my seat or fidgeting at my desk to bother you or my classmates.
Sometimes while I am processing what is being said, it helps me to tap my foot, shake my pen, or tap my fingers. I am not trying to be rude, that is the last thing that I want you to think I am trying to do. Sometimes my body and brain do things that I just can't control, I am working on that.
4. When I ask for my accommodations please don't think I am being dramatic.
I cannot help the fact that I learn differently than others, but that does not mean that I am unable to learn. Over the last couple of years, I have been able to find what works best for me and when sticking to those methods I am more successful. I wish that I did not have to leave the class to take an exam because I often wonder what others are thinking when I do. I wish that I did not have to have things explained over and over and over again before I maybe understand. Please know that I would not ask for what I do if it wasn't helping me to be the best student I can be.
5. I really want to participate during class.
Participating in a class has always been my greatest struggle. I so badly want to raise my hand and answer a question that you ask, but I lack confidence. Through past experiences of answering questions, reading out loud, or volunteering in a class, I now second guess everything and fear embarrassment if I answer wrong or miss pronounce something. It takes me longer to process the question that you asked and formulate and answer. By the time I come up with something and get the courage to answer someone else has said my answer or we have moved on to another topic.
Although you may have had past students with similar disabilities I am not them, what worked for them may not work for me so please be patient with me. I have discovered methods that work for me for many things, but there are some areas that I am still working on trying to find that. I know that I am smart and I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to. I have expectations for myself and I know that you have expectations for me as well. Sometimes we just fall short but it is not because of laziness, lack of motivation, or lack of effort.
Next time you see me struggling in class please keep these things in mind because I want to please you and do well. I do care.
Sincerely,
Students who learn a little differently
