As things in life keep happening and I keep on living, I've realized that a vast majority of the things I do aren't what make me happy.

It took sneaking offset one day for some tequila shots and a beer with a boy who shares the same zest for life and adventure as me to realize that, no matter how much I preach liberation and freedom, I'm still afraid of living.

So, as I sit on my couch binge watching Glee as a kind of adult, I decided now, in my moment of consolation influenced by the loving advice from Sue Sylvester and Burt Hummel that this is a better time than any to compose this very thought out and life-changing list of things I'm tired of doing.

1. I'm tired of feeding egos.

With that said, I'm not chasing anyone. I don't even chase my liquor. If you want to leave, call an Uber and go. I'm not begging anyone to stay who doesn't want to be apart of my life and grow with me. I'm intelligent, beautiful, kind, and funny in my own quirky way. If you don't think you can handle all of this jelly, don't even try to scoop me up. I need someone as brave and open as I am. Until this person comes around, riding solo and learning more about myself sounds like the most promising and fulfilling adventure I'll ever go on.

2. I'm tired of trying to be the “cool girl.”

What the hell is the “cool girl” anyway? Someone who picks beer over a martini? Eats a burger and fries over a salad? Do swears like a sailor? Has casual sex without wanting commitment? Doesn’t care if you don't text her all week? Smart as hell and plays a sport while still partying her ass off? Does all of this while somehow staying a size 2 with a 4.0? I'm tired of trying to be this girl. This girl is impossible, at least for me. It's time to be my crazy self that likes commitment and gets mad when I don't get a text back, buzz buzz it's me again, or doesn't my hand held in public. I deserve to just be the girl who likes beer, veggie burgers, and rugby with true friends who accept me for me and not this idea they have of me. I deserve the right to be myself without feeling the need to be “cool.”

3. I'm tired of living in the past and trying to create this perfect future.

I need to live in the present. As they say, “This is water.” Dwelling in the past is driving me crazy as I romanticize what was while I constantly try to re-imagine those same scenarios to create the perfect future. Because of that, I'm missing what is right in front of me every single day. Living in the moment is the best gift I can ever give myself. And to you, too.

4. I'm tired of overthinking.

This one's simple. I'm taking everything at face value. You say you don't want cheese, I'm not giving you cheese or wonder all day what the symbolism is behind the denial of cheese. I'm taking that mindset into situations beyond food. But with that mindset, I have to start saying what's on my mind. People aren't minded readers, and I understand that now.

5. I'm tired of forgiving the people who don't deserve to be in my life.

Now this is a harder one. You can take this to whatever extreme you'd like, but for me, it's all about forgiving but not forgetting. It's the apologies that I had to accept for myself from people who never spoke them into existence. For too long, I've let people run over me and use my friendship and love as their foundation, and I'm over it. Now I'm not afraid to walk away from toxic, emotionally draining people. It's not worth my time or patience. God says to turn the other cheek and forgive and I will, but that doesn't mean I have to walk beside you.

6. I'm tired of making excuses.

I'm tired of making excuses for myself, and I'm even more tired of making excuses for other people. People prioritize what they find important. So him saying he forgot to text back means his ass didn't care enough to text you back. Don't get it twisted. I'm not saying don't be understanding, life happens. I'm saying don't be stupid. You deserve better and we all need to work on treating other people better.

7. I'm tired of feeling voiceless in my own story.

I look back on my short 21 years, and I see so many situations that I felt silenced when I should've been the loudest person screaming. This is my life. My body. My story. I'm tired of letting other people speak for me and determine my path. Advice is great but what I do now is truly up to me.

8. I'm tired of being “OK.”

Life is far too precious of a thing to be lived in a constant state of “OK.” I want to be Angry. Sad. Happy as hell. Passionate. Full of vibrancy and love. I don't just want to be “OK,” I want to be in tune with my true emotions meaning I need to express them and embrace them as they come. I gotta feel that shit and not suppress it. If you make me mad, I'm going to let you know. If you make me happy, I'm going to let you know. Don't be surprised.

9. I'm tired of waiting for my fairy tale.

I have to stop waiting for things to just magically happen like I'm some Disney princess locked away in some tower waiting for someone to save me. I have to save myself and go chase life. It's not going to happen with me sitting on my couch, though Glee has changed my perception on a lot of things. There are 100 things happening around me and I have to go out and chase the ones that I want.

10. I'm tired of life being a competition and not a pep rally.

One thing that will never change is my idea that we should empower each other and uplift each other, not tear each other down. The little stabs at each other add up and ultimately brings people down. I've been guilty of this and now I realize my contribution to the problem. Life is too short for every aspect of it to be a competition. When it comes to my friends and family, I will be their biggest cheerleader and supporter. But if you're wrong, I'm going to let you know - can't go through life delusional.

11. But most of all, I'm tired of being tired.

I go through life making sure everyone is ok, but I forget about myself. I matter, too. And right now, I'm taking my life back. This is my fight ... list.