To The Women Who Hate Feminism

To The Women Who Hate Feminism

Why are you so afraid of the F-word?
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Dear women who hate feminism,

I’ve recently noticed that more and more of you, my fellow women, are speaking out against feminism. It’s a rising trend that I’ve seen especially within the Odyssey community; two articles, in particular, have stood out to me because of their authors’ strong objections to the values of feminism. Both Gina Davis and Amanda Sankey have written about their disapproval of the feminist movement, saying that they want equal rights between men and women but don’t believe in female superiority over men.

It disappoints me, but doesn’t surprise me, that the feminist movement is often confused with female domination. The movement’s association with women’s rights throughout history has undoubtedly garnered some negative attention from people who believe women should be subservient to men. This is the same negativity that characterizes women as being “hysterical,” “man-haters” and “feminazis.” As a result, feminism is identified by critics as being an extremist movement, while those critics advocate for equal rights in the same breath.

SEE ALSO: I Am A Pro-Life Feminist

Feminism’s association with women is what ultimately causes its downfall. It’s sad, but it’s true. Because the definition of feminism makes no mention of female superiority over men; it states that feminism is a movement that fights for the “political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” Feminism, at its core, is about equality—and isn’t that what Davis and Sankey are fighting for while simultaneously objecting to being feminists?

I don’t blame Davis, Sankey or the rest of you for having negative perceptions of the feminist movement. We live in a world that has marginalized women for far too long—it’s only natural that we become a product of our environment. But it baffles me that I still have to explain the true meaning of feminism in such a juvenile way, as if it is some complicated mathematic formula rather than simple logic. Shouldn’t we all want equal rights between men and women? If you said “yes,” then you, by definition, are a feminist. And if you said “no,” then I strongly encourage you to think about the implications of your answer.

Women, it is time to stop being complacent in your oppression. Stop making up excuses to not be feminists; feminism isn’t about making women live any certain kind of lifestyle, whether it is to get a job or to stay at home and raise children. Feminism is about giving women the right to choose. Why is it that when I say I want equality, critics argue that I’m fighting for dominance over men? It’s a telling sign of the inequality in our world when you think that my fighting for equal rights means that men will lose their rights—we have confused equality as oppression for far too long.

SEE ALSO: 6 Movies You Must Watch If You Consider Yourself A Feminist

I’m not trying to silence anybody’s opinions. I will, however, encourage discussion and conversation. Because at the end of the day, it’s extremely frustrating to hear you, my fellow women, disapprove of a movement designed to help you because you refuse to understand the sexism that is a part of our society. I don’t blame you—a long time ago, I used to be the same way. But it’s time to stop claiming ignorance. If you do not believe yourself to be personally oppressed, then think about all of the girls in other countries who are. Think about the struggles that, if not you, your female friends and relatives have had to face in their lives. And after you’ve stopped thinking about your own personal life and the privileges you have had, then you can start making a difference. You don’t need to personally experience oppression to know that it happens to so many other women in our own country and in others.

All I can hope for is that you educate yourself and see the world around you not as you want to see it, but as it truly is. Only then will we be able to truly make a change in it.

Sincerely,

A feminist

Cover Image Credit: ABC News

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6 Things You Should Know About The Woman Who Can't Stand Modern Feminism

Yes, she wants to be heard too.

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2018 is sort of a trap for this woman. She believes in women with all of the fire inside of her, but it is hard for her to offer support when people are making fools of themselves and disguising it as feminism.

The fact of the matter is that women possess qualities that men don't and men possess qualities that women don't. That is natural. Plus, no one sees men parading the streets in penis costumes complaining that they don't get to carry their own fetus for nine months.

1. She really loves and values women.

She is incredibly proud to be a woman.

She knows the amount of power than a woman's presence alone can hold. She sees when a woman walks into a room and makes the whole place light up. She begs that you won't make her feel like a "lady hater" because she doesn't want to follow a trend that she doesn't agree with.

2. She wants equality, too

She has seen the fundamental issues in the corporate world, where women and men are not receiving equal pay.

She doesn't cheer on the businesses that don't see women and men as equivalents. But she does recognize that if she works her butt off, she can be as successful as she wants to.

3. She wears a bra.

While she knows the "I don't have to wear a bra for society" trend isn't a new one, but she doesn't quite get it. Like maybe she wants to wear a bra because it makes her feel better. Maybe she wears a bra because it is the normal things to do... And that's OK.

Maybe she wants to put wear a lacy bra and pretty makeup to feel girly on .a date night. She is confused by the women who claim to be "fighting for women," because sometimes they make her feel bad for expressing her ladyhood in a different way than them.

4. She hates creeps just as much as you do. .

Just because she isn't a feminist does not mean that she is cool with the gruesome reality that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused.

In fact, this makes her stomach turn inside out to think about. She knows and loves people who have been through such a tragedy and wants to put the terrible, creepy, sexually charged criminals behind bars just as bad as the next woman.

Remember that just because she isn't a feminist doesn't mean she thinks awful men can do whatever they want.

5. There is a reason she is ashamed of 2018's version of feminism.

She looks at women in history who have made a difference and is miserably blown away by modern feminism's performance.

Not only have women in the past won themselves the right to vote, but also the right to buy birth control and have credit cards in their names and EVEN saw marital rape become a criminal offense.

None of them dressed in vagina costumes to win anyone over though... Crazy, right?

6. She isn't going to dress in a lady parts costume to prove a point.

This leaves her speechless. It is like the women around her have absolutely lost their minds and their agendas, only lessening their own credibility.

"Mom, what are those ladies on TV dressed up as?"

"Ummm... it looks to me like they are pink taco's honey."

She loves who she is and she cherished what makes her different from the men around her. She doesn't want to compromise who she is as a woman just so she can be "equal with men."

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Dear Greeting Card Companies, Queer People Celebrate Holidays And Anniversaries, Too

News flash: straight people aren't the only ones who celebrate things.

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The other day, I walked into my local Wal-Mart to pick a few items and, among them, was an anniversary card for my girlfriend. Perhaps it was my fault for thinking that I, as a bi woman dating another woman, would be able to find the perfect card that captures the spirit of our relationship. I should've known that finding an LGBTQ-friendly card would be difficult — I had no idea that it would be impossible.

As I sorted through the cards in the anniversary section of the card aisle, it started to dawn on me how excluded my identity was from something as simple as greeting cards. Every from-me-to-you card was designed for a heterosexual couple, and the only cards that didn't explicitly feature a man and woman either through illustrations or text were made to be given by family or friends of a couple.

I promptly left the disappointing anniversary section and moved to "any occasion," the miscellaneous jumble of "just because" and "friendship" cards. Eventually, I found a simple card that was generic enough to fit the occasion of a bisexual couple's anniversary that basically just says "You're my soul mate! I love you!" I know. So poetic.

I guess that's where I need to look now when I need a card for my girlfriend. Not "anniversary" or "Valentine's Day," because apparently straight couples are the only ones who celebrate those days. You want a queer-friendly card? Just head on over to "any occasion," since that's where all the needs of queer customers have inadvertently been lumped, and you'll be sure to find something SUPER elegant and personal like "you rock" or "thanks for being you."

I know that there are LGBTQ greeting cards available online, even from big companies like Hallmark and American Greetings. But why aren't they available in stores? I can't just go down the street and pick up a card? Instead, I need to plan out my card needs in advance so that I can order a card, pay for shipping, and make sure it gets to me on time. Which, frankly, as an extremely last-minute card shopper (like, "going to CVS at 9 a.m. on Mother's Day" kind of last-minute), just isn't likely to happen.

It doesn't matter to me if these companies are "being inclusive" and making LGBTQ-friendly cards. If they aren't available with the same convenience and accessibility as every other kind of cards, what does it even matter?

Only offering LGBTQ cards online isn't inclusive. It's a way of doing the bare minimum for diversity so that when people call card companies out on excluding queer relationships, they can say, "but we have a great selection online!" Thanks, but I need that card today.

It sounds ridiculously small and stupid, but when you go up and down an aisle of cards and don't see a single one acknowledging your identity, it stings. It reminds you of all the little ways you're erased from existence and excluded from participating in a social practice as mundane as going to a store and picking out a greeting card. I should be able to go to a store and find a nice card for my girlfriend as easily as I do when I need a birthday card for my sister. If you can stock LGBTQ cards online, you can stock them in stores.

It's 2018, y'all. Let's chill with the compulsory heterosexuality.

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