To The Women Who Hate Feminism

To The Women Who Hate Feminism

Why are you so afraid of the F-word?
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Dear women who hate feminism,

I’ve recently noticed that more and more of you, my fellow women, are speaking out against feminism. It’s a rising trend that I’ve seen especially within the Odyssey community; two articles, in particular, have stood out to me because of their authors’ strong objections to the values of feminism. Both Gina Davis and Amanda Sankey have written about their disapproval of the feminist movement, saying that they want equal rights between men and women but don’t believe in female superiority over men.

It disappoints me, but doesn’t surprise me, that the feminist movement is often confused with female domination. The movement’s association with women’s rights throughout history has undoubtedly garnered some negative attention from people who believe women should be subservient to men. This is the same negativity that characterizes women as being “hysterical,” “man-haters” and “feminazis.” As a result, feminism is identified by critics as being an extremist movement, while those critics advocate for equal rights in the same breath.

SEE ALSO: I Am A Pro-Life Feminist

Feminism’s association with women is what ultimately causes its downfall. It’s sad, but it’s true. Because the definition of feminism makes no mention of female superiority over men; it states that feminism is a movement that fights for the “political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” Feminism, at its core, is about equality—and isn’t that what Davis and Sankey are fighting for while simultaneously objecting to being feminists?

I don’t blame Davis, Sankey or the rest of you for having negative perceptions of the feminist movement. We live in a world that has marginalized women for far too long—it’s only natural that we become a product of our environment. But it baffles me that I still have to explain the true meaning of feminism in such a juvenile way, as if it is some complicated mathematic formula rather than simple logic. Shouldn’t we all want equal rights between men and women? If you said “yes,” then you, by definition, are a feminist. And if you said “no,” then I strongly encourage you to think about the implications of your answer.

Women, it is time to stop being complacent in your oppression. Stop making up excuses to not be feminists; feminism isn’t about making women live any certain kind of lifestyle, whether it is to get a job or to stay at home and raise children. Feminism is about giving women the right to choose. Why is it that when I say I want equality, critics argue that I’m fighting for dominance over men? It’s a telling sign of the inequality in our world when you think that my fighting for equal rights means that men will lose their rights—we have confused equality as oppression for far too long.

SEE ALSO: 6 Movies You Must Watch If You Consider Yourself A Feminist

I’m not trying to silence anybody’s opinions. I will, however, encourage discussion and conversation. Because at the end of the day, it’s extremely frustrating to hear you, my fellow women, disapprove of a movement designed to help you because you refuse to understand the sexism that is a part of our society. I don’t blame you—a long time ago, I used to be the same way. But it’s time to stop claiming ignorance. If you do not believe yourself to be personally oppressed, then think about all of the girls in other countries who are. Think about the struggles that, if not you, your female friends and relatives have had to face in their lives. And after you’ve stopped thinking about your own personal life and the privileges you have had, then you can start making a difference. You don’t need to personally experience oppression to know that it happens to so many other women in our own country and in others.

All I can hope for is that you educate yourself and see the world around you not as you want to see it, but as it truly is. Only then will we be able to truly make a change in it.

Sincerely,

A feminist

Cover Image Credit: ABC News

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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I Used To Think Height Didn't Matter, But Maybe It Really Does

I've come to a conclusion

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I've had my fair share of boyfriends in the past. A common theme in my past choices of boys is that they were all an inch or two taller than me or the same height. Now, I am a little on the taller side considering that the average height for a woman in the US is 5 feet 4 inches tall. I'm not saying all the tall boys belong to all the tall girls and the shorter guys should stick with shorter girls, but I do think there might be something behind all this madness.

My reasoning for this is simple: I've been in an amazing relationship with someone who is fairly taller than me. Is this reason totally irrational and have no sort of concrete evidence for this argument? Yes, totally, but hear me out. All my other relationships haven't been this good or even had the potential to be this good. Is it a coincidence that they were all shorter? I think not!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with boys who are under 5'9''. There are some nice ones who probably don't talk to 5 other girls while you're dating, I just never happened to come across one back when I was in the game. I just find it interesting that I've been in a really healthy relationship for awhile now with someone who is over 6 feet tall.

Many amazing relationships have happened between all different types of people, no matter the height. It's just if you are having problems with boys who are under 6 feet, you may have some thinking to do.


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