Have you ever had the strongest urge to just hide in a hole?
Well, I have, and it is not a fun feeling.
Between the social anxiety and constant worry that courses my viens, I do not have time for embarrassing moments in life.
More times than I can count, I have avoided going to parties and social events because of the fear of doing something stupid.
I have missed out on so many opportunities because of this constant nagging in the back of my head, and I hate it.
Slowly, over the course of freshman year in high school to now, I have surrounded myself with outgoing personalities and people that will push me outside my comfort zone to try new things.
The friends I have gained over the years have helped me gain victory over so many obstacles that I would have deemed impossible when I was younger. I have a lot of thanks to give them for that.
However, there are moments in my life when my heart still starts beating uncontrollably, and my mind will buzz with unhealthy thoughts of fear.
People do not realize that anxiety is physically crippling sometimes. It is sometimes hard to even come out of my dorm room to go to my next class because of the amount of people on the sidewalks.
I get thoughts of people staring at me, or talking about me as I walk by them, for almost no reason at all.
The thoughts just happen, like they have a mind of their own.
It is hard, too, when there are people that tell you to simply "suck it up" and "it's no big deal" while you are having panic attacks about walking past a large group of people on or off campus.
I have worked very hard in life to overcome these unnecessary fears, but there are still some instances that will bother me.
The criticism that is said about mental illnesses and mental difficulties are ridiculous.
Just in America alone, there is an estimated amount of 42.5 million people who suffer from a mental illness.
Your brain is an organ, therefor it is a physical illness, a physical problem. It isn't "all in your head" like everybody says figuratively. It is literal, and in a lot of cases there is nothing the person can do about it.
The people that say mental illness does not exist also do not make sense to me.
There is mental illness all over the world, and it can range from common anxiety or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), to more major things like schizophrenia or Multiple Personality Disorder.
A lot of controversy on whether all patients should just take medicine for it or not has risen as well.
Personally, I do not enjoy taking pills for my problems.
I used to be on multiple prescribed medication for chronic migraines, and they did not make me feel good. They also did not help my problem like they should have, and I ended up weaning off of them.
For a lot of people, medicine is not even an option, simply due to the fact that is expensive, even if covered with insurance, which not everyone has.
When I hear someone say mental illness, I think of all the people I know that have suffered through the difficulties of having something chemically wrong in their brain.
The more people that acknowledge mental illness as a real problem, the more people like me will have dealing with the world around us.
We should not have to have to feeling of crawling into a hole and hiding because other people make us uncomfortable about our problems.
There should be no shame.
Anxiety is real. Bipolar disorder is real. OCD is real.
Mental illness is real.
