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Health and Wellness

The Struggle For Motivation

A low key take on an existential crisis

Cate Ayson
Nov 07, 2016
Southern Oregon University
80
The Struggle For Motivation

I’ve been having a bit of an existential crisis lately. It hasn’t been much of “Why are humans on the earth” or “What is the purpose of life?” but more of a struggle for motivation. If I’m going to be completely honest, I haven’t done any school work or written articles in about two weeks. The thing is, I know I need to get my shit done. I know that I need to pass my classes to graduate and go on to do great things in my life but I just can’t. The motivation to do anything other than sleep and Instagram stalk people is literally nonexistent.




Everything I have been doing lately seems to be for other people. Nothing I do seems to be for me anymore, even writing these articles. It’s just so incredibly difficult. Writing these articles feels like a chore rather than something I love to do. Getting this degree seems to be more for my parent’s happiness than for my benefit. And the thing is I know it isn’t. Like I said, I know getting this degree lets me do great amazing things in life. I know that this is what I actually want to do but I feel like a train coming to a halt. Just pure momentum pushing me and I’m running out of energy fast.

I doubt this is my lovely friends anxiety and depression peeking out of their hiding hole because I’m happy. I’m happy when I’m with my friends, I’m happy when I’m eating ice cream and I’m happy when I’m Facetiming my boyfriend in the wee morning hours. I’m honestly okay. So please don’t send me a flood of “Are you okay Cate? I read your article you posted…” text messages and calls because I’m fine. I swear to baby Jesus. Yes mother, I’ve been eating, sleeping and taking my crazy meds…



I’m not too sure how to get everything on track and get myself out of this little burn out. I’ve been trying so hard to quit my shit and be excited to write again but it’s not really happening. Like I said, I know what I need to do and why I need to do it. I’m sort of hoping that a little meteorite of motivation and inspiration hits me and I’m good till the rest of the year, but that's a little too optimistic.

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