Imagine second grade you.

You're sitting in the front row in class, squinting your eyes to see the board.

It's hard to see things that are far away, but that’s how it’s always been. It’s never been a problem until now.

When you get home you tell your parents and they say you might need glasses and set up an appointment with the eye doctor. The doctor agrees. You have astigmatism and are ordered to get glasses.

The first time you put them on, your entire world is changed. You think: it's a miracle I was able to get this far in school with such bad eyesight! You're so glad you have glasses now, even if you do look a little dorky and you can't wear sunglasses in the summer.

Now imagine that you got used to the squinting instead, so much so that you thought it was normal.

You never told your parents because you didn't know there was something to tell.

You never went to the doctor.

You never got any help.

You're now 21 years old and can barely tell what the professor writes on the board.

Imagine that instead of astigmatism, you've gone all this time with a mental illness.

You do not get diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder until you are a second-semester sophomore in college. You go in for counseling because you've been more stressed than usual lately and the counselor shows you the page for GAD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual if Mental Disorders (DSM). Your symptoms match. You work on stress-relieving techniques and deep breathing for the remainder of the semester.

You do not get diagnosed with Mild Depressive Disorder until later.

You've spent at least ten years dealing with the symptoms, without any help until now.

Finally, you have a name for your struggle.

Getting a diagnosis is a journey in itself. Though you have been experiencing the symptoms of these disorders since you can remember, you go through what seems like the five stages of grief when it is actually said out loud and made "real."

Denial and isolation: maybe the psychologist was wrong, my symptoms aren’t THAT bad so it can’t possibly be a disorder...right? No need to tell anyone...or talk to anyone…

Anger: Why me?! Why now?! Why?!

Bargaining: Maybe if I had gone to counseling years ago... maybe if I ate better… maybe if I exercised more…

Depression: how ironic it is to be depressed about being depressed.

Acceptance: I don’t quite know if I am done with this stage, or if I’ll ever be. I think it’s more resignation than acceptance, at the moment.

But you start taking action steps to start healing and feeling better.You start regular counseling again, practice all your techniques.

Everyone would benefit from counseling.

It is a way to think about situations from a point of view outside of yourself, as well as a source for learning self-care techniques. These are both helpful regardless of what struggles you are facing.

You also add Group Therapy to your routine. At first, you are hesitant. You think it's going to feel like going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. At first, it is. You feel depressed about being depressed and having to go to weekly meetings in order to take care of yourself. The tables quickly turn, though, and you start looking forward to those Monday evenings. It feels good to know you're not alone, not only in having these disorders but also in how having them affects your daily life. It also feels good to be able to talk to and give advice and receive advice from like-minded people who understood you. Mustering up the courage to go to these meetings is probably one of the best decisions you’ve ever made.

However, it's still not enough. Eventually, you and your counselor decide it might be time to start the process of finding a medication that will help complement counseling and your techniques - like glasses to your astigmatism.

It's a more complicated process than getting glasses, you find out. You have to wait until next week for a psychiatric evaluation in order to be prescribed any medication, and that’s when you're diagnosed with MDD.

There are no tests to determine which medication you should use or how much so the entire process is virtually blind. It is also unknown if you’ll have awful side-effects from the medication, and it takes around four weeks to even know if it has started working. This is all occurring during midterms and the second half of the semester. Talk about terrible timing. Needless to say, your grades and relationships suffer.

You're currently on trial number two and it seems to be going well. You have emerged from hibernation and are slowly making up what you've missed and studying for finals next week! This semester has been a rollercoaster and you're just counting down the days until you can say you survived it.

In spite of these challenges, you're glad you're finally on the path to better managing your disorders and you're hopeful about the future.

Mental illness does not have to define you. Though it may be just as integral a part of you as gender, race, and sexuality and come with many challenges, it doesn’t mean you can’t live a happy and healthy life in spite of it. It’s never too late to start your journey toward getting help.

Need help? United States:

1 (800) 273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

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Languages: English, Spanish

Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org