Hello, I'm so glad you've found your way here! Really, have some tea, maybe a digestive if your feeling a bit adventurous?
Good. Now that you're all settled, I'd like to set a disclaimer. The words you read from this point on may make you frustrated, angry, even outraged, but I'd like to take this moment to publicly state that this is only my personal opinion on the notion of "Skinny-shaming." Not really feeling it? You can move on, I won't judge you. However, if you do continue on, remember that I did warn you upfront. :)
Oh, you're still here? Great! Let me lay something on you that's really been on my mind for the past few weeks. Because I write my articles a few weeks ahead of time, I have a bit of delay, but I guarantee you that I still have the same feelings on this topic years from now.
A few weeks ago, I happened upon an article sort of 'going to bat' for skinny people everywhere and it absolutely outraged me. What made it even worse was when I scrolled to the bottom of the page and got bombarded with article after article of the same variety. Don't misunderstand me, this article is not meant to bash the writers of those articles, nor did I have an issue with the way they were written-- each person put their thoughts on the table. These are only mine.
For the sake of those that don't know me personally, I'm not exactly what Seventeen or Vogue magazine would call beautiful. I have curvy hips, thick thighs, an ample bosom, plenty of stretch marks, and on top of it all, I'm 5'0 tall. (or short.... depending on how you look at it.)I was no different growing up than I am now, except for the fact that I've gained more womanly attributes over the years. Yet, unlike most girls, I never really struggled with the societal implications of my weight because I was technically "normal." Since entering college, however, I have exited out of that middle ground and entered into what most retail stores call "Plus Size." (And that's stretching it, literally.)
We hear it all the time online or even in person (Eek!): "Oh, someone said I was too skinny and I can't do anything about it because I've done this or eaten that. Nothing ever works for me and it's not my fault I'm so skinny because I had to take this medication as a child, blah, blah, blah." Look, I want to explain something to you as simply as I can from the perspective of the "curvy" girl. You live in a world where your body type is ideal. It's wrong and skewed and horrible, I know. I fight it everyday I walk out of my home, get on social media, or even watch Netflix. However, I'd like you to remember: Clothes are made with you in mind. Actors and Actresses are cast in your image. And Magazines pray on your so-called "perfection" to make people like me feel uncomfortable in our skin.
If you don't take away anything from this article, take this: no one, and I repeat NO ONE should feel uncomfortable in their skin. I don't care if they're "skin and bones" or can be compared to the size of a Freight-liner. Everyone should be able to wear what they feel comfortable in and not be ridiculed. I'm sure we all can agree on that.
Yet, like the Christian who condemns the divorcee when they're cheating on their own husband, you write articles about how horrible it is to reside in your skinny, pole bodies. You rep exercise, health food, and probably Donald Trump because you have never been on the butt-end of an entire culture's jokes.
Ever watch one of Melissa McCarthy's movies? Sure you have, and I bet you laughed at every self-deprecating joke she made because you don't know our struggle.
You don't have to be told to get off a rollercoaster because the harness won't fit you.
You don't have to search store after store after store for one measly garment that will fit you.
Oh, we have special stores and sections for that, you say? Yea, well all Forever 21 might have are a pair of black pants that will be like a second skin, even though you went up two sizes, Target is the same, but you'll end up looking eighty years old by the time you find something that actually fits, and Torrid? Well, Torrid is pretty great on most days, but that's one store.
You have twenty and, oh, you can't find ANYTHING that looks good? Ha. Bite my ass, little girl.
You don't get glared at when you wear something revealing because "No one wants to see your fat."
You don't get pitied when you walk into a gym simply to live a healthy lifestyle because, "Oh, how pathetic, they're trying to lose weight and failing."
"Oh, they must have bad judgement and eat 24-7 because there's no reason for them to be overweight in this day and age."
Ha. Let me explain something else to you. I would love nothing more than to become a vegetarian or simply eat health food exclusively for the rest of my life. But, do you remember those clothes I was talking about? Yea, they get marked up. I have to pay for that and health food is fracking expensive. So, should I just go hungry and look semi-fabulous or eat this food that's supposed to make me "Skinny" and go naked?
I'm all for the Free the Nipple Movement, but people are already freaking out about Transgendered ladies and gentleman using their corresponding bathrooms. So, the last thing they want to see is my naked body walking around in a Target somewhere.
It's more economically realistic to eat things that are bad for me. It's that plain and simple. You do it too, but it doesn't effect your body like it effects mine. Yet, I'm the one being judged for it.
The saddest part about all of this is that no matter how many diets you go on or how much you try to "make" yourself gain weight (Which, by the way I don't believe for one second that most of you do in the first place) you'll never be happy with the results.
Why?
Because the problem doesn't lie in your body, sweet girl. It lies in your head. We are taught from a young age that only a certain set of characteristics are desirable. The fact of the matter is, those things are unrealistic. They're the largest farce ever created.
You can hate them and keep writing these articles and making up names for yourselves to feel included or you could try and condition yourself into thinking differently. It's like internalized racism, you may catch yourself saying something that's against what you ultimately believe in, but you can correct it and over time your thought process will change.
You can stop griping about how you want to be like us because you honestly have no idea what kind of struggle it is to not fit any of those criteria. You at least fit one.
I love myself more than anything in this world (I'm a Leo, I can't help it.) But I'm going to be honest with you: I often look in the mirror or back at old pictures and wish I was that size again. I slip up too. I can wish and wish and wish for whatever, but change isn't going to occur within me unless I do something about it. (And I'm not talking about exercise.)
The notion that my body is beautiful in every way shape and form is still foreign to me and I've been an advocate for this since I was in high school.
It takes time and you won't get immediate results, but it's worth it. Let's stop the idea of "skinny shaming." Let's stop the idea of "fat shamming, slut shaming," all of it!
Because anything having to do with the way anyone else treats their body is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.(Shocking, I know!) Everyone thinks selfishness is a bad quality to have, but in this area, I think it comes in handy more than not. Instead of having your nose in someone else's problems, try and work on your own wholeheartedly.
Shaming anyone, including yourself, is not OK anymore! This is 2016, people! As En Vogue once said in Free Your Mind, "Change your mind and the rest will follow." Instead of advocating for one body-type or the other, let's eradicate shaming completely. That way we stay away from rants like I just had (I'm sorry, I had to say those things. I couldn't help myself) which lead to a sort of "I'm better, no I'm better" argument.
We are all women and the only way we're going to get our point across is by standing together and building each other up. That is how change occurs and with this simple step, I believe we can change the world for the better.
