The New Year has started, and we're a week into all the changes and intentions that we have for ourselves. No matter who reads this, we're all treading a different walk of life. We're all at different points, learning hard lessons and seeing the world through different eyes. It is the way the world works, and the way we have come to live our lives.
In the time of the twenty-somethings, life is hard. I don't know what it's like for people older than me, but I'm about to find out within the next few years. All I can really talk about is from experience, and not just mine. My friends and I, from high school and college, went through the struggles of finding ourselves, making mistakes, finding love and then losing it, but I guess that's just all about "figuring it out."
I've been saying that phrase a lot lately.
"Oh, I'll figure it out."
"Yeah I'm just figuring it out right now."
"Don't worry about me, I'm figuring it out."
And I've come to realize that it's my go-to statement when a tough subject comes up in conversation. When I didn't have a job? I'm figuring it out. When I had to move on from heartbreak? I'm figuring it out. When all my friends and I graduated and life starting changing real quick? That was probably the biggest "figuring it out."
So, what does it mean? To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure. I'm not sure what we're trying to say in place of those three words. I don't know if anyone knows. Figuring it out could mean a million things and only a few at the same time. It could mean learning how to cook a really good meal or pay your bills without anxiety or finding a new favorite place to think. Maybe it's filling that void you've had open for so long or saying goodbye to people who don't deserve you. Maybe it's a mix or maybe it's a whole big cyclone, and you're trying to calm the storm.
What can we do when we're just trying to "figure it out"? Because we're figuring out who we're going to be when we say that. We're figuring out who we want to be, and making those active choices.
I guess we breathe. We continue on following our dreams, even when they seem light years away. We throw away the burnt casserole from the cookbook our grandma gave us, make a PB & J sandwich and promise to try again tomorrow. We let go of people that we loved so fiercely, hold onto the memories and continue to meet others who will help us along the way. We read new books and try new things and push ourselves out of our comfort zones. We kiss that stranger on New Years Eve, and we promise ourselves that things are going to be different.
I'm figuring it out. It's not easy; it's quite messy and frustrating, but this is the time to do it. We're all doing it, at our own pace, our own time, our own life. It's copacetic.
