A Thank You To My Ex: Part 2

A Thank You To My Ex, His Family And His Friends

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm a better me because of you.

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My very first Odyssey article was, "A Thank You To My Ex," and a ton of people loved it and could relate to it. Of course there was a group of haters, and I bet you could guess who....that didn't like it. But that was to be expected because they couldn't see my point of view and refused to try to see my point of view, and I'm expecting the same with this article too.

It may seem silly that I'm writing another article about my ex boyfriend, but I have more to thank him for.

Thank you once again for treating me like complete crap. Thank you for not comforting me when I was stressed with school, work, or just had anxiety about life in general. Thank you for not giving me what I gave to you. All those times that I had to go see you, all those times I left my friends and family for your, all those times that I helped you with you hard times and dumb decisions.

Thank you to you, your family and your friends, for posting all about me and my article on your social media pages, calling them "fake news", saying that I'm a b*****, calling me a tool, saying I was raised by feral animals, and this that and the other.

Thank you guys, for saying that you’re going to be more successful than I am, and that I can’t write. Meanwhile, I am getting A’s and B’s in my classes. I got an A in both my college writing and college English class. A bunch of professors, those two, leave comments on my papers and case study’s saying that I can write well. One of my professor’s is a published author, and he comment on my paper was, “You’re great at writing and making my job easier”. On top of that, I was referred to be Editor in Cheif for Odyssey, and my friends ask me to review their papers for schools, before they turn them in. So I don’t need you guys to tell that I can’t write well because I know that I can.

I’m very successful with Odyssey and everything else that I’m doing. Whether it’s school, work, the DCP, ballroom dance, taking care of other people, cooking and bailing and so much more. So again, I don’t need you guys to tell me that I’m not successful in what I’m doing.

From everything that was said about me, I gained even more confidence to write, and to write about certain topics. Topics that I thought I would never be able to write able. That includes my all time favorite article "Poetry On Odyssey: I Wasn't Ready" , and "What's It's Like To Be In A Toxic Relationship", which got a ton of people to reach out to me to let me know about their stories. Because of all the things that were posted, people could see a small glimpse of what I went through and it helped prove my point.

I've made a bunch more friends and grew closer to the friends I already had because of the things that you guys posted. People from across the country reached out to message me and they continue to follow my articles to this day. I have a bigger support system because of you guys, and that is something I should thank you for a little extra. A little extra because going through things alone is an awful feeling and I did it for so long that it's finally great to have people who understand and get it.

All your negative posts helped not only me, but Rhode Island College's Odyssey team, and Odyssey in general. It helped because you guys drew a ton more attention to me and my articles. It gained me a slightly bigger audience and more page views. It got me some more paychecks based on page views alone!

Because you, your family and friends treated me awful, it gave me something to write about and it gave me countless opportunities to help others in my same situation. It gave me personal experience on what I'm going to be working with in the short future, once school is done. I'll be able to help my patients on an entire different level and connect with them in a different way and help me become more successful with my degree and career.

And for that I CANNOT thank you all enough.

So thank you again for treating me like crap because in the end I turned it around into a beautifully positive thing, and made it help and benefit me, and many others. As for the post that said "Karma is coming for me", I don't believe speaking up and vaguely touching on my trauma is a bad thing, but you guys might and the offer still stands, if you want to talk I'm all ears. But for now I'm going to keep doing what I feel is going to help not myself and others.

Oh and just a side note, careful who comments on your posts and what your “friends” are saying about me to you, because those are the SAME people messaging me talking crap about all of you guys.

Thank U, Next.

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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To The Guy Who Fooled Me Twice, Karma Took Care Of You

But shame on me.

JordynL
JordynL
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I'll give it to you. The first time around was great. We had fun. We laughed. In the moment, it was great. You introduced me to what is now my favorite TV show, even though now I can only watch it when it comes on Adult Swim instead of having it readily available on Netflix. You actually enjoyed Hawaiian pizza so we practically lived on that and Dr. Pepper. We'd both go to work and come right back to each other at the end of the day, at least when I made arrangements to stay the night instead of spending time with my family like I honestly should've been. Although in hindsight, I should've ran.

But of course, all good things must come to an end. We were both so happy and we loved spending time with each other. The fire in your hair matched the fire in my soul and it worked. Unfortunately, I made the decision to call it off. I had to go back to school in another town because summer break doesn't last forever. Realistically, it wouldn't have worked. Even with the short hour and a half distance, "long distance" wasn't a thing for either of us. So I called it off and we came to a civil agreement. If we run into each other again in the future, we would try. But that was foolish. I should've ran and never turned back.

Then three months later, I was deep in school work; finishing essays in time for football games, working all the time- the cliche' life of a college student. Yet you felt the need to contact me out of nowhere. Three months after the fact. But I was fine. I had moved on, attachment was gone (at least I thought it was), and I was constantly with friends, engaging in whatever shenanigans we could come up with. But you. You contacted me. You said you missed me and you wanted me in your life. BUT you had met someone and y'all were dating.

-

Can the audience guess what came next? Yes, an invitation to the "hottest" threesome. Hard pass. I don't share.

-

Nearly a year went by after this conversation. My behavior hadn't changed. School, friends, football games, and now add Paddle People in the mix. Then one night during our traditional camp out before a game, I get a text from an unknown number. Normally I ignore but I had a weird feeling. But guess who? You. Apparently you had found out that she had been cheating on you with y'all's roommate. Disgusting, but okay. The relationship was over and you were confiding in me. Okay. I'm awesome at this. I had zero feeling but I still felt bad because stuff like this sucks.

Apparently somewhere along the lines, you had gotten reattached to me. Also along that line, I got used to talking to you on a daily basis again and got attached as well. We had agreed to meet up and hang out. Sure. What's wrong with meeting up with a friend? BUT you wanted me to meet your mom and stepdad. I should've ran.

Obviously I was an idiot. I met them, I loved them, they loved me, and we all had a great time. The literal closet full of liquor that your mother opened was honestly pretty enticing. From that night on, we hung out more and things seemed almost like they were. Aside from your depressing heartbreak and being terrified to start something new with me, even though you said you wanted to. I should've known better because I was sick of wasting time, but if I'm awesome at anything, it's being supportive. But I should've ran.

Eventually we started up again. AND I got along with your younger brother. Remember all the laughs we all shared? At least until you found out that one of the guys your ex-girlfriend cheated on you with was your younger brother. That, among other reasons, was why you made your mom kick him out of the house. But now he's in the Air Force making a better life for himself. Oddly enough, he's been really successful ever since he got separated from you and your family. Who would've thought? Oh yeah, me. Part of the reason you kicked him out was, of course, the disgust that your own brother betrayed you, but also because you were terrified that he would do the same thing with me. What you didn't know was that SHE initiated the relationship with your brother, not the other way around. But you either don't know that or don't want to accept it. Either way, I'm not that kind of person.

The kicker is when I found that you were in contact with her. To get your stuff back, I get it. BUT when I saw the messages of y'all wanting to hook up and do all these things while I was at work? Oh no. I bet you'll recall I confronted you about that and how you claimed you didn't owe me anything because we weren't actually together. True, but YOU wanted trust with us. Yet you couldn't be trustworthy and got defensive, not because we weren't fully committed, but because you got caught.

Big surprise, I went to work one day. We made plans to get dinner after I got off work and changed. I called you to let you know I was on my way, but SHE answered the phone. While y'all were consummating your "born again" relationship, I might add. Which is kinda funny and insulting to you. But my heart dropped. I sped to your place, and my fears were obviously correct. Her car was there. But the kicker? My suitcase was thrown in the driveway. Not even containing all my belongings. Fast forwarding through the retrieval of my belongings, communicating with your dirty, patronizing, personal skank through a garage door ORDERING her to get the rest, and you not bringing them to me directly, but instead leaving them on the porch so I couldn't confront you- I learned that you were nothing but a spineless coward.

I left. I went back to work because it was the first place I could think of that was the closest. I ran into the arms of someone that I once considered my best friend; my other half, even though we were going through our own rough patch and were barely speaking. But at the time he was the only one that knew about you in your entirety, so of course I ran to him. And I will thank him relentlessly for that AND for letting me by booze, only for me to drive to another friend's house so I could crash there and let me spew out my feelings and regrets. Not only with you, but with every potential relationship decision I've ever made. I will always thank that friend for that till the day I die. Those two guys put me back together that night.

In that moment, you had broke me. But now I realize that I should've ran. I should've ignored that unknown text. I should've let the first round be the only round because I came out on top.

You know what makes me feel better though? And that makes me kind of a shitty person? I know she cheated on you again. I know for a fact. Because a friend of mine showed me a picture of a girl he hooked up with recently. Within the last month to be exact. And guess who? Your girl. The ultimate kicker is that, unfortunately he has an STD now. He's treating it, but it's undetermined of when he got it. I'm willing to bet a lot of money that he got it from your girl though, considering we both know she opens her legs for basically anyone. Whether she knows about it is a mystery. Knowing how many guys she's still cheating on you with is a mystery. But karma is a dirty bitch and she got you.

You screwed me over, so enjoy screwing your STD ridden girlfriend. Girls don't show symptoms for a while, so that should be fun for you; considering you like the RAW feeling. So congratulations. The feeling of her burning bush matches the fire in your hair.

JordynL
JordynL

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