I have been meaning to type this out for a really long time, but haven't been able to bring myself to write it. My friends keep asking me "how are you okay with this" or "how do you not cry everyday," and the truth is.... I've just been numb to it all and I've buried my feelings. It stings a little that someone that meant so much to me and someone who I shared my deepest emotions with, is now getting married.. and it's not me. If I'm being honest, I didn't think I'd have to deal with the feelings of an ex getting married at such a young age.. I'll be the first to admit it's scary. It's been a while since we've spoken and that's okay. Now we have both moved on and I'm happy with my life.
I know you are so incredibly excited for your wedding day as that is the day I have been dreading since we broke up. It's not that I'm not happy for you and happy that you finally found someone who makes you so happy that it consumes your soul, it's just a raw subject for me as you once we're my whole world. But if I'm being completely honest with myself, I always want you to be happy, whether it's with me or someone else. I'm happy you found someone who could give you all the things that I could not possibly give you. Sure we had our special times where we thought we would be celebrating this day together, but things happen and God had better plans for the both of us. I would be lying if I didn't say I missed you, but not in the "I miss you, I wanna be with you" sense. I don't want to give off the impression that I miss having you in my life. It's a "I miss you," because I miss the stability I had with you, you and your family always made sure I was happy and okay, and I am forever grateful. You and your family gave me so much love and helped me learn so much about myself, it's something I'll always cherish.
As I was your "then love," it's time for you to walk into your life with your "forever love." I hope you walk into your new life with her and reflect back on the two years you spent with the wrong one and remember all the mistakes and what you learned from it. I hope you remember how much you loved the wrong girl and love the right girl so much more. I hope you have grown into the mature and loving man that will be an amazing husband. I hope your wedding day is all that you dreamt it would be and more. I hope she makes you so happy and makes you smile as bright as the sun. I know you will love her with all your heart as you do with everything that means something to you, that was always my favorite thing about you. I wish you the best and I really am happy for you.
Sincerely,
Your "then love" -B
