Letter To The Ex-Boyfriend I Still Love
Start writing a post
Family Friends

An Open Letter To The Ex I Still Love

*Cue "Perfect Two" by Auburn from my middle school playlist.*

An Open Letter To The Ex I Still Love

We all know that things like grief and heartache have no healing timeline like general surgery does. You can't heal from heartache in two weeks with the help of medications and rest. It doesn't work like that. Another thing that "doesn't work like that," with the help of medications and rest is grief or accepting the tough things.

It's been six months since the last time I saw him.

Six months ago we were both in different places. Mentally I wasn't prepared for college, a relationship, or anything you wanted to offer me. I was in a different place mentally and I let that interfere with us. I let my mental state determine how things ended. I had no control, and believe me, if I did have control over anything I was thinking, I would have kept you by my side.

So, that being said, here's a letter to you, my lovely ex.

Dear Ex,

First of all, you should know that I am sorry. I am sorry that I let my mentality at the time get in the way of us. I am sorry for making you seem like the bad guy after we broke up.

I'm sorry that I didn't appreciate you and all you did for me. The countless times that you let me come over when I was upset and comforted me when you had your own stuff to do is one of the many things that I took for granted. You spent hours reassuring me that you loved me and that I was beautiful, smart, and capable of conquering the world. All you got in return was tears or "shut up's." I never did truly thank you for that.

I regret not telling you "thank you" more often. I regret not telling you how much you meant to me on a daily basis, even if it would get old.

Now that you know I have regrets about my lack of appreciation and selfishness, you should know that I think of you every day. This is far from an exaggeration. I always think of your laugh and the way you'd throw your head back when you'd laugh. You'd shut your eyes and cackle slightly. Your laugh always brought such joy to me. I never told you that either.

Whenever I see the color blue, I think of you. Your deep sea blue eyes and dirty blue work jeans. The blue tie I bought you for Christmas. Blue is you — it's calm and relieving.

Your freckles that were splattered across the canvas I called your face, remind me of the constellations. There was always something new to be discovered, not in your face, but within you, yourself. Just like the constellations, you shine. You glisten and gleam. Please don't stop. Never stop shining. Never stop letting someone do their soul-searching within you. When I see stars, I see you. You're always there but only in the darkest hours when everyone else is sound asleep.

I think of you everywhere I go and with everything I do. If I were to shuffle my Spotify playlist right now, I promise any song that came on would make me think of you in some way. Do you remember all of the songs we showed each other and listened to in my car? I do.

I also remember the way that your hand felt, molded perfectly into mine while resting in my center counsel. I remember you hijacking my aux cord every time we drove together. You always played stuff I didn't know, the latest music that I couldn't keep tabs on because it was trash.

I remember when we'd hug and always giving you a little squeeze before I'd leave. It wasn't until I couldn't be in your arms anymore that I realized I'd become homeless. I didn't know that, until I couldn't feel your heartbeat as you fell asleep, that my own heart couldn't beat the same.

I wish that I could turn back time to cherish everything we were and we were about to become. I wish that I could have your love again; I'd cherish it forever and I'd never let it go again.

But love isn't supposed to have a happy ending, is it? That'd be too easy. There must be struggles, tears, fights, disagreements, and all in order for you to realize how precious true love is and how fragile it is. The love that I broke with you is so far beyond repair that not even gorilla glue can fix it.

Love isn't supposed to be easy and have a happy ending. Love is supposed to be challenging; love isn't supposed to die. Please tell me ours didn't. If it's not dead, if what we have is something worthy of being revived, then show me. Tell me. Let me know that whats been broken can be fixed.

Sometimes I say that love shouldn't get second chances, especially if someone who messed up wants one. But Lord knows that I want a second chance. A second chance is all I'd need to show you. To prove to you. To cherish you. Just one second chance. I'd give you a million second chances if it meant my heart wouldn't have to be homeless anymore.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Just when we thought 2020 couldn't get any more unpredictable, we find out that Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died at 87 of complications from pancreatic cancer.

Regardless of where you might stand politically, you can't deny that the was a very honorable woman, who has accomplished a lot in her lifetime. Writing majority opinions for many cases such as United States v. Virginia, and Olmstead v. L.C., she has paved the way for many women, showing that no matter what obstacles stand in your way, you can achieve your goals.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Coronavirus, The Arizona State Legislature, And The 2020 Election

The Arizona State Legislature might shift its majority in the House and Senate come 2021.


Arizona State Senator Martín Quezada spoke today on legislative changes that may occur in 2021 due to the possibility of Arizona becoming a bipartisan state.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked 27 People What Positive Things Happened To Them Despite The Pandemic, And Their Answers Are Inspiring

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King Jr.


Let's be real: COVID SUCKS! So many events have been ruined and not being able to see friends and families really blows. But, I reached out to people and asked if anyone had anything positive happen for them despite the pandemic and I got so many answers!!! Here are a few that were shared with me!

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

RBG Just Passed Away, And Trump Is Already Jumping At The Chance To Replace Her

I think it's a worse time than ever to put another conservative on the Supreme Court.


Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, otherwise known as RBG, sadly passed away Friday, September 18 after a battle with metastatic pancreatic cancer. This woman was tough, no doubts about that. This was her fifth — yes, you read that correctly — bout with cancer over the span of two decades.

Keep Reading... Show less

I didn't believe the notification when it came through to my phone: Ruth Bader Ginsburg had died from complications due to cancer.

Keep Reading... Show less

11 Things Your Boyfriend Should Do Before He Drops $499 On A PS5

Let's start with spending less time gaming and more time with you.


Scrolling through Twitter this week had me rolling on the floor laughing as I read some of the hilarious tweets from ladies who, whether in a relationship or not, shared reactions to the news that PlayStation 5 is on its way

As this "buy your boyfriend a PS5" joke takes off across the internet, let's just say, there are a few things your BF should be doing before dropping $499 on the new gaming system — or, if the tweets are real for some, before you buy it for him as a gift.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tasia Sli

Tasia Sli and Anna Yang met in quintessential New York fashion at a chic rooftop event, inquisitive Yale grad Anna gravitating towards model/entrepreneur Tasia.

Keep Reading... Show less

Two of my favorite things in life are reading and books. Obviously, they go hand-in-hand. In my life, I've realized that there is nothing better than learning about the current world or getting fully immersed in another world. Reading can inspire, teach, and entertain you.

For me, the feeling of opening a book and smelling that fresh book smell can't compete with anything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

Expecting mother and wife to singer/songwriter John Legend may have accidentally slipped up and revealed the gender of her and Legend's third baby today on her Instagram story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments