Letter To The Ex-Boyfriend I Still Love
Start writing a post
Family Friends

An Open Letter To The Ex I Still Love

*Cue "Perfect Two" by Auburn from my middle school playlist.*

An Open Letter To The Ex I Still Love

We all know that things like grief and heartache have no healing timeline like general surgery does. You can't heal from heartache in two weeks with the help of medications and rest. It doesn't work like that. Another thing that "doesn't work like that," with the help of medications and rest is grief or accepting the tough things.

It's been six months since the last time I saw him.

Six months ago we were both in different places. Mentally I wasn't prepared for college, a relationship, or anything you wanted to offer me. I was in a different place mentally and I let that interfere with us. I let my mental state determine how things ended. I had no control, and believe me, if I did have control over anything I was thinking, I would have kept you by my side.

So, that being said, here's a letter to you, my lovely ex.

Dear Ex,

First of all, you should know that I am sorry. I am sorry that I let my mentality at the time get in the way of us. I am sorry for making you seem like the bad guy after we broke up.

I'm sorry that I didn't appreciate you and all you did for me. The countless times that you let me come over when I was upset and comforted me when you had your own stuff to do is one of the many things that I took for granted. You spent hours reassuring me that you loved me and that I was beautiful, smart, and capable of conquering the world. All you got in return was tears or "shut up's." I never did truly thank you for that.

I regret not telling you "thank you" more often. I regret not telling you how much you meant to me on a daily basis, even if it would get old.

Now that you know I have regrets about my lack of appreciation and selfishness, you should know that I think of you every day. This is far from an exaggeration. I always think of your laugh and the way you'd throw your head back when you'd laugh. You'd shut your eyes and cackle slightly. Your laugh always brought such joy to me. I never told you that either.

Whenever I see the color blue, I think of you. Your deep sea blue eyes and dirty blue work jeans. The blue tie I bought you for Christmas. Blue is you — it's calm and relieving.

Your freckles that were splattered across the canvas I called your face, remind me of the constellations. There was always something new to be discovered, not in your face, but within you, yourself. Just like the constellations, you shine. You glisten and gleam. Please don't stop. Never stop shining. Never stop letting someone do their soul-searching within you. When I see stars, I see you. You're always there but only in the darkest hours when everyone else is sound asleep.

I think of you everywhere I go and with everything I do. If I were to shuffle my Spotify playlist right now, I promise any song that came on would make me think of you in some way. Do you remember all of the songs we showed each other and listened to in my car? I do.

I also remember the way that your hand felt, molded perfectly into mine while resting in my center counsel. I remember you hijacking my aux cord every time we drove together. You always played stuff I didn't know, the latest music that I couldn't keep tabs on because it was trash.

I remember when we'd hug and always giving you a little squeeze before I'd leave. It wasn't until I couldn't be in your arms anymore that I realized I'd become homeless. I didn't know that, until I couldn't feel your heartbeat as you fell asleep, that my own heart couldn't beat the same.

I wish that I could turn back time to cherish everything we were and we were about to become. I wish that I could have your love again; I'd cherish it forever and I'd never let it go again.

But love isn't supposed to have a happy ending, is it? That'd be too easy. There must be struggles, tears, fights, disagreements, and all in order for you to realize how precious true love is and how fragile it is. The love that I broke with you is so far beyond repair that not even gorilla glue can fix it.

Love isn't supposed to be easy and have a happy ending. Love is supposed to be challenging; love isn't supposed to die. Please tell me ours didn't. If it's not dead, if what we have is something worthy of being revived, then show me. Tell me. Let me know that whats been broken can be fixed.

Sometimes I say that love shouldn't get second chances, especially if someone who messed up wants one. But Lord knows that I want a second chance. A second chance is all I'd need to show you. To prove to you. To cherish you. Just one second chance. I'd give you a million second chances if it meant my heart wouldn't have to be homeless anymore.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Sex And The Church

A letter to fellow believers.

Amanda Hayes

I know many of you just read that title and thought it was scandalous to see something so “risque” in the same setting as something holy. Well guess what – sex is part of that. Everyone seems to think they are separate, which makes since because most people treat them as though they are complete polar opposites. Shall we think this through?

Keep Reading... Show less

Chick-fil-A, I love you.

Keep Reading... Show less

An open letter to my father

What you did sounds dumb to me

An open letter to my father
The Truth About My Parents' Divorce

Considering im 18 now & you're one of the best men i've ever met since you have a child; me. I want you to know that I love you, more than anyone, I love you. I don't forgive you for the way you hurt my mother. I'm hurt because you broke our family. Thing went down hill the day you found Laquita. You we're distant & shortly after my mother turned into the coldest, saddest women to walk past me. She's my best friend & so are you. Not one day goes by where I don't wonder what she did wrong. How on earth could you trade your family & the women who loved you unconditionally for a home wrecker? Sounds dumb to me.

Keep Reading... Show less

Is God Reckless?

Exploring the controversy behind the popular worship song "Reckless Love"

Is God Reckless?

First things first I do not agree with people getting so caught up in the specific theology of a song that they forget who they are singing the song to. I normally don't pay attention to negative things that people say about worship music, but the things that people were saying caught my attention. For example, that the song was not biblical and should not be sung in churches. Worship was created to glorify God, and not to argue over what kind of theology the artist used to write the song. I was not made aware of the controversy surrounding the popular song "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury until about a week ago, but now that I am aware this is what I have concluded.The controversy surrounding the song is how the term reckless is used to describe God's love. This is the statement that Cory Asbury released after many people questioned his theology regarding his lyrics. I think that by trying to clarify what the song was saying he added to the confusion behind the controversy.This is what he had to say,
"Many have asked me for clarity on the phrase, "reckless love". Many have wondered why I'd use a "negative" word to describe God. I've taken some time to write out my thoughts here. I hope it brings answers to your questions. But more than that, I hope it brings you into an encounter with the wildness of His love.When I use the phrase, "the reckless love of God", I'm not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn't crafty or slick. It's not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it's quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn't consider Himself first. His love isn't selfish or self-serving. He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return.His love leaves the ninety-nine to find the one every time."
Some people are arguing that song is biblical because it makes reference to the scripture from Matthew 28:12-14 and Luke 15. Both of these scriptures talk about the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd. The shepherd symbolizes God and the lost sheep are people that do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand some people are arguing that using the term reckless, referring to God's character is heretical and not biblical. I found two articles that discuss the controversy about the song.The first article is called, "Reckless Love" By Cory Asbury - "Song Meaning, Review, and Worship Leading Tips." The writer of the article, Jake Gosselin argues that people are "Making a mountain out of a molehill" and that the argument is foolish. The second article, "God's Love is not Reckless, Contrary to What You Might Sing" by author Andrew Gabriel argues that using the term reckless is irresponsible and that you cannot separate Gods character traits from God himself. For example, saying that God's love is reckless could also be argued that God himself is reckless. Reckless is typically not a word that someone would use to describe God and his love for us. The term reckless is defined as (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action. However, Cory Asbury is not talking about a person, he is talking about God's passionate and relentless pursuit of the lost. While I would not have chosen the word reckless, I understand what he was trying to communicate through the song. Down below I have linked two articles that might be helpful if you are interested in reading more about the controversy.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Signs You Grew Up In A Small Town

Whether you admit it or not, that tiny town will always have your heart.

The Odyssey

1. You still talk to people that you went to elementary school with.

These are the people you grew up with and the people you graduated high school with. The faces you see in kindergarten are the same faces you’ll see for the rest of your life.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments