I have always been the type of girl to take five steps at a time. I do not only plan minutes and days and months ahead...I plan years. I try and plan where I will be interning next Fall, or what classes I'll be having trouble passing, or who I will be in love with. It is a horrible habit that I have finally begun to shake.
I can't control anything. And the things I can control, don't always work out. I planned for years and years what college I wanted to go to, and when I got there, I hated it. I planned who I would be dating, and well...I'm single. I am finally learning that no matter how much you plan, how many agendas you keep, and how many lists you make, life will always get in the way. You should let it.
I still have trouble not thinking about my future. I'm not sure that what I'm studying now is what I will want to do when I'm 40 years old, but I'm learning to accept the fact that everyone in college thinks this way. I could drop everything for a new focus, and end up years later right where I began.
I used to think that once you hit your mid-20s, you magically had everything figured it out. If you had a job, a house, a car, etc., you were pretty much set in my mind. What I'm beginning to learn from everyone around me is that no one knows what they hell they are doing. Everyone is just trying to take it day by day, and not let the anxieties of those days built up take over their lives.
With social media being a big part of most of our lives, we get a close look into what everyone else is doing; who they're dating, what job they have or promotion they got, where they are living. This causes a sense of anxiety about what we have accomplished so far, because it may not look as good in an Instagram post or a Facebook announcement. Yet, everyone thinks this of each other, so there is truly no overarching model that serves as grounds for success.
Someone is looking at your Facebook or your LinkedIn or your resume and thinking, "wow, I wish my life looked like this." After finally realizing this, I am learning to view other peoples' successes as THEIR successes, that are right for and benefit that person and that person only. I'm working on living my life to feel good on my own terms, and I encourage the generation of "everyone is doing so much more than I am," to do the same.
I'm learning to take one step at a time. OK....maybe two.
