The journey to self-love is the rockiest path you might ever embark on in your life, which is sad in too many ways. We have been raised in a society that tells you having confidence is cocky and loving yourself is narcissistic. We are told that our energy should be exerted into assisting our neighbors and serving to make other people’s lives better.
While that last part should stand true, it’s also important to realize that you matter just as much as the people you are helping. Your health and overall wellbeing is just as worthy of love and care, and you shouldn’t depend on other people to get that. You are worthy of your own love and care.
It’s cliché now to say that you can’t love or help others before you love and help yourself, and I have denied that to be true for years. Personally, I always believed that I was doing good by giving everybody else all the love I had in me, and that leaving none for myself at the end of the day was okay just as long as everyone was taken care of. But this is not a healthy way to live, and I now realize that.
The energy your body holds radiates to those around you. People can sense your happiness and generosity, and that’s what brings them closer to you. When your spirits are down, though, those who surround you will be brought down, as well. And once you are empty, there will be nothing more to share.
Taking care of you as a person is not a selfish act. You need food to fuel your body and exercise to stay in shape just as much as you need passions to keep excitement in your life and love to feel safe in your own skin. Watering your own flowers allows them to blossom on your clock. You are in control of how you grow throughout your own life.
The most important step to regaining this control is finding self-awareness. Notice when you feel stressed, sad or angry and address the trigger. Checking in with yourself every once in a while helps to mature your emotional intelligence. With this, it will be easier for you to recognize when you are in a toxic situation or mood, and you will be able to better guide yourself to a healthier, happier place.
I have also recently come to learn that making certain changes in your life now could bring greater benefits in the long run. For example, pay attention to the individuals in your life who are often too absorbed in their own negativity and may often bring you down. Friends and significant others should be people who always have your best interest in mind and support the decisions you make, even if they might not completely agree with them. These are the people that you should feel the most safe around to be yourself; but when they start to belittle you more than lift you higher, this is when you have the right to stop serving them and make a change.
Changes like this are what help you to grow the most. And although they may seem scary in the moment, it is essential to remember that challenging yourself can only bring you greater strength and wisdom. Then, assisting your neighbors will seem easier than before. You will be stronger, happier. You will feel pride in the decisions you’ve made in the past once you see the progress you’re making now. That pride turns into love. Self-love. You will be aware of your current state and ready to share this love with others.
So from now on, focus on you. What are you dissatisfied with right now? What or who is stifling you? Address the toxicity and remove it from your life. And as you begin to grow, take the hands of those around you to bring them up with you. Share the love, the pride and the joy of becoming the best version you’ve always imagined yourself to be.
