“If you can't love yourself, then you can't love anybody else” is literally the worst lie I've ever heard; yet it seems to be a staple to the average person's beliefs. If it’s a quote you live by, I highly recommend that you read this.

To those who are mentally and physically incapable of loving themselves, even with their entire being, no matter how many compliments they’re given or how much medication they might take, the phrase doesn’t only come across as rude and ignorant and absolutely ridiculous -- but it’s also incredibly hurtful.

I’ve struggled on and off with depression, several forms of anxiety, and bodily dysmorphic-related issues of all kinds ever since I was in middle school; and because of these ailments, I literally have never loved myself. There have obviously been days here and there when I’m body-positive, and days when I'm super peaceful within my mindset. But I’ve never been capable of truly loving myself -- not even when I try my hardest. And I’ve tried everything -- writing a pros and cons list about myself, distracting myself, working out more or less, getting more sleep, yoga -- everything. And I’ve still yet to give up, but I don’t see any progress being made, as my life’s only been spiraling downwards for too many years to count at this point. I can’t love myself, and there’s nothing I can do about that.

But to tell me that because I can’t love myself, I can’t love anybody -- that's wholeheartedly absurd. To tell someone that their love for another is a lie, that it’s not good enough, or that it’s not even possible is the absolute most disgusting thing you can say to someone. How would you feel if you gave all your love and care to somebody, and then he or she had the indecency to tell you, “Nope. Sorry. You don’t love you, therefore you don’t love me, and therefore I don’t love you.”

Get this -- I absolutely love my friends, and I love my boyfriend, and I love animals, and I love so many things and so many people with all my heart and soul, and I damn well know it. It’s a crazy concept, I know. Like, you, whoever you may be, are probably baffled, thinking: Wow, someone who basically hates herself is actually able to portray such a strong feeling of affection towards somebody? But how?

Well, if that person just so happens to be you, you might wanna buckle your seatbelt and keep on reading, because I’m about to teach you some outrageous material.

When you don’t love yourself, you know what it feels like to feel worthless.

And when you feel worthless, all you wanna do is curl up in a ball and sulk. Maybe eat some food, maybe pet your cat or dog -- just anything you can find the energy to do. If you’re anything like me, you’re so knowledgeable of that feeling. Because of that, you want to prevent others from feeling the same way. Therefore, you’ll go out of your way to do nice things for them because you genuinely want to. It has nothing to do with your own pride, either. It’s just for the sake of knowing that you’ve made somebody else’s day when nobody else made yours. Not everybody who is miserable is looking to bring others down with them, and I cannot stress that enough.

Sometimes, you can find love for yourself through others.

For example, I have clear skin for the most part, but when I break out I will literally be covered in pimples and blemishes. Back, chest, thighs, forehead -- you name the body part, and I probably have at least eight zits within a five-inch radius. But, some of the most beautiful and kindhearted people I know get pimples, too -- some way more than myself. And it helps to know that, because you can look at yourself more comfortably knowing you have a flaw in common with somebody you care about or look up to.

Nurturing and giving your love to others can be the most comforting feeling in the world.

I live for helping people. Like I said prior, when I help others, it helps me because I know I’ve made somebody happy -- I’ve made a difference in somebody’s day. When I dedicate my time to showing my love for those who deserve it, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and helps me forget my own problems. My boyfriend Tim (yes, my boyfriend! Whom I absolutely love, no matter how “impossible” it is) is the neediest person I know -- always asking for back rubs, and for me to make him food, and for me to stretch his legs when he’s sore, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

But it’s in my nature to care for other people, even when they don’t ask for it. When Tim is sick, he refuses medicine and pretends he’s fine when you offer him help, but then I can see the sadness in his eyes. So naturally, I’ll make him warm food, force him to chug NyQuil, make a comfy bed on the couch for him, and/or give him cuddles and kisses. And this makes me ridiculously happy because not only can I forget about my issues and focus on his, but I’m also making him feel better than I feel 99 percent of the time and I love knowing that. If I can't feel necessarily happy, then those around me at least deserve to.

So now that you’ve all learned your lesson from somebody with immense amounts of experience, please think before telling somebody that they can’t love another without loving his or her self first -- because it’s become far too common of an excuse.