Why I Used To Hate 'Boys Night'
...but now I appreciate it.
No matter how long you've been in a relationship, you will never be able to avoid the inevitable “boys night". Ladies, we have ALL been that bummed girlfriend whose boyfriend would rather hang out with this dumb friends than you. And even though they did ask you if it's okay to have a boys night, they knew you couldn't say no...
Maybe you're the “cool" girlfriend who isn't phased by the boys night and while he does his thing, you'll do yours. Or maybe you are exactly like me, who would rather stay in while he is gone. It might drive you a little crazy watching movie, checking the time and restarting your phone wondering what he's doing, where he's at or who he is with.
Ladies, you should never be embarrassed to show that you care and are concerned about your significant other.
If anything, your partner should appreciate the love that you have for them. In our generation, it's “cool" to pretend that you don't care. For some reason, it's become a game of “who cares less" constantly trying to show one another up. And that is the reason I thrive in constantly letting my other half know that I am there, I care, and no matter what I am always a call away.
Fellas, coming from an overly sensitive girlfriend, there are many reasons that we loathe the “boys night" question besides the fact that you are going “out."
1) TIME — Yes, we do see you every night before bed... BUT we absolutely LOVE to spend every second of everyday with you. Even if we aren't doing anything, we enjoy your company. Even if we are arguing, we feel comfort in your company. We feel complete when you are here, even if we don't express that to you. We are genuinely sad when you're gone.
2) THE “BOYS" — Have you ever heard the term 'When you run with dogs, you catch fleas'? When you are out with your SINGLE or CHEATING friends... Well you can imagine the scenarios that run through our heads. It's truly not that we dislike your friends, but we respect that they are single and/or not faithful in their relationships so we expect them to respect that you aren't them and should not ask you to participate in those activities and/or hang out in those environments.
3) LOVE — When you truly love someone, they become absolutely perfect to you in every single way. They are the most attractive, funniest, and all around exactly what you have always wanted. Everything you do is so perfect to us, we just don't know how we got to lucky. Which is what is so scary to us, because we see all the amazing things about you and we just know that all the other girls out there see it too. We don't want to lose you to the prettier, smarter, or skinnier girl. We want to keep you forever, in our safe little bubble, away from those girls.
After my boyfriend and I had our little girl, I began having an entire new outlook on “boys night". Even though the sting of him wanting to hang out with his friends instead of me, will never go away, I do have a new appreciation for it.
1) TIME — As much as I enjoy our family time and our time when it's just the two of us, I also enjoy time to myself as well. I've always been one who hated to be alone, but ever since I got pregnant I began enjoying it more and more. When I have nights to myself, I get to unwind, relax, and not have to do anything if I don't want too. To me, it's a refresh and restart button.
2) A BREAK — Sometimes it is nice not to tag along with your boyfriend and his friends, even though sometimes it is nice to get invited. Let's be real ladies, when you tag along with the boys, you end up spending most of the night buried in your phone because you don't understand the “guy talk". But everytime they invite you want to go because if not you'll be left to wonder with your imagination, thinking up the worst possibly scenarios in your head until you can't sleep and are up until he gets home... Sometimes it's nice to stay home, run a bubble bath, drink some wine, and just let your worries go. What's meant to happen, is going to happen, whether you are there or not. Let go, let god.
3) LOVE — Let's get real ladies, if you can't trust your man to go out one night of the month with his friends... then why are you in a relationship with him? Not that I'm judging you, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Unless he shows you why you should not trust him, then don't jump to freaking out all night when you could be catching up on your favorite series, having a glass of wine, and cuddling with your puppy (that only likes you when he's gone). Enjoy it. If you love him, you have to let him go! You can't keep him locked up forever. He had his friends when he was single, and he still chose to be with you, trust that you made the right decision and he will too!
All in all, RELAX ladies! If your gut is telling you otherwise, COMMUNICATE. Guys can not read your mind. Don't jump to conclusions, turn your brains off for the night and put your worries in God's hands because it's in your control anyways. You're not crazy, you just care.