I Took The Summer Off From Dating

I Took The Summer Off From Dating Because I Need To Work On Me And No One Else

I started to notice my bad habits

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I've always been the girl who dates someone over summer breaks. I used to always think summer was the best time to date someone because you're home and free and have the time to really get to know another person and adventure with them. That used to be my life, but now, I'd rather take the summer to date myself instead.

A lot of girls my age tend to associate themselves with a relationship — past, present, and/or future — and if they aren't treated right or the relationship ends, we're left with a hole inside of us until we find a new thing to temporarily fill that hole with. This leads to a temporary feeling of happiness and causes many young adults to be afraid of committing themselves to someone else.

This is the phenomenon that I have lived with and want to avoid furthermore. I keep feeling after every fling that I'm empty and that there's a space inside of me needing to be filled, so I move onto the next one and rinse and repeat. It's a cycle many people go through and I didn't want to be caught up in it anymore. I got tired of picking up the pieces for everyone else instead of guarding my heart and protecting myself. I felt as if I had given my heart to too many unworthy people in the past that I wanted to repair my heart little by little by myself.

There's a lot of learning and value in taking a step back to work on yourself. It's easy to get caught up in someone else's life that we forget to take care of our own. Stepping back and taking time off will show you what patterns you have in your life and what habits you have that are toxic.

For example, I stepped back this summer and started to notice that I attract guys who are lost and sad inside. I'm a very peppy and positive person who accepts everyone for who they are, so many guys who are in a bad place in their lives take that part of me in until they feel better, then they run. It's left me hurt more times than I can count because I always feel as if I'm responsible for trying to help them in any way. I've never tried to fix a person I've dated because I know you can't, but I have tried to show others that they're worth more than what they think that they are and it always ends up biting me back.

I want to take the time I need to break my habits and realize my own worth so I never fall back into that trap. I want to be more confident in myself so when I meet the right guy at the right time, everything can be healthy and magical between us. I want to better myself so my heart can be whole and I never have to fill it with superficial things again. I'm taking the summer to work on me, no one else.

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If You Don't Respect The Relationships Of Others, It's Clear That You Don't Respect Yourself Either

No person who is truly happy and confident would try to interfere with two people who are happy together.

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To women who knowingly make advances on men in committed relationships,

I understand. You want a relationship. It is simply human nature to crave love and wish to give love in return. However, what I don't understand is looking for love in a person who has already found love in someone else.

You see him being a gentleman and treating the woman he loves with the chivalry she deserves. You can tell how madly in love they are and you can't help but feel jealous, realizing that he has all of the qualities you look for in a man. You can't control your thoughts or feelings.

However, what you can control are your actions. When it comes to interfering with a relationship, you cannot just assume you will not be held accountable for the things you say and do in an attempt to tear two people apart. In a world of 7 billion people, there are no excuses to make advances toward someone in a relationship. None at all.

It does not matter if you've known the person for years. It does not matter if you've dated before, miss the connection you used to have, and are looking to reconnect. It does not matter if you're drunk. Save the heart-eyed emojis and "I love you"s for someone else.

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Flirting with someone fully aware of the fact that that person is in a relationship is flat out disrespectful to all parties involved and will result in one of two outcomes.

Maybe you will get the reaction you want and the man will go behind his girlfriend's back to be with you. Or, if he respects the woman he is with, he will be honest with her and cut you out of his life because of your lack of respect for the relationship.

If the man ends up betraying his girlfriend, you may think you won him over. While this may feel like a victory at first, karma will come back and bite you. It always does.

The way you win him is exactly how you will lose him. If he'll do it to her, he'll do it to you.

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Thankfully, there are men in the world who will stay loyal and refuse to let other women come between them and their significant other. However, the blatant disrespect on your part is still evident, even if the relationship is strong enough to remain unaffected by the drama you cause.

You might think that spilling your undying love to the man you've been crushing on is justified. However, if he is with another woman, it is best to keep those thoughts to yourself, especially if you have any type of friendship or basic respect for either person in the relationship.

Put yourself in the woman's shoes. Would you want another woman, especially an ex or friend, messaging the person you love flirty paragraphs of admiration? If you wouldn't want it sent to your significant other, do not send it to someone else's significant other. It's that simple.

The thing about boundaries is that once they're crossed, it is hard for things to ever go back to the way they were before. Once you show disrespect to a relationship, neither partner will trust you again. Are your impulsive texts worth ruining your reputation and potentially hurting others?

Respect boundaries. Respect others. Respect yourself.

Everyone deserves a happy relationship. If you really respect yourself, you will recognize that nothing healthy or loving can come out of another person's sadness and betrayal.

Sincerely,

The woman who wishes you could have been more considerate before hitting "send"

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