I have always been a shy person. Whether I was around complete strangers or around my family I was still shy. Many people have told me that as I grow older I will become more outgoing and I would be less shy. I am now 18 years old and I still have a crippling fear of placing an order at a restaurant, calling somebody to make an appointment, answering the telephone, and going anywhere alone.
I like to surround myself with friends that understand. Friends that understand that there are times where I would rather go hungry than have to go to Taco Bell alone and order food. Friends that understand that I would rather miss my chance at an appointment than have to call a stranger. Friends that understand that I cannot answer my cellphone if I don't have the number of the caller in my contacts. If it wasn't for my friends being the best support system around, I would probably sit alone in my bedroom eating frozen pizza everyday.
One of the largest obstacles I came across while in school was giving speeches in English class. I dreaded having to speak in front of the class. I stuttered, I blushed, I sweat, and I struggled to breathe. I prayed everyday that we would run out of time and I wouldn't have to read for the class. I read and write very well most of the time, but when it comes to public speaking I could never be ready for the torture I was going to be put through.
Many people don't understand what it's like to be so shy. They don't understand that the anxiety of having to be alone with complete strangers is enough to make me cry. I will never be outgoing, loud, bubbly, or a social butterfly. Instead, I am the shy person who stands in the corner, avoids eye contact, and counts down the seconds until it is acceptable to excuse myself from the situation and go home. I will never be the leader in the group, instead I am the person who whispers my ideas to my friend for them to tell the leader. I may never be okay with ordering food, making appointments, answering my phone and being alone, but I will be the shy teenager with the most understanding friends in the world.
