I have personally found it really hard to be around strong men. By definition, a strong man is someone who knows that he has a part to play in life that doesn't always revolve around him. He knows what he wants out of life and isn't afraid to say how he feels about any given situation. There is an alpha quality if you will to him but it is almost subdued in the way he performs it. A strong man knows how to engage a person without threatening them.
There are so many qualities to a strong man but there never has to be toxicity within them.
One example of a strong man was the man I met when I first went to college. My experience didn't start out all that great, and I think the guy I met taught me a lot about myself. He used to tell me that I seemed timid, that I didn't have it all together because I wasn't completely honest with myself. He knew me before I knew myself and I thank him for that every single day that I doubt myself. We both may have been two young 18-year-olds at the time, but I think he knew what he wanted to be before I could figure out who I even was. He was confident and knew exactly what he wanted out of life and I think that at the time, I was afraid of that. But now that I think about it, it wasn't so bad.
Another example is the guy I know now. He is intelligent and beyond handsome but when we first met, he didn't shine in that way. He had an awkwardness about him that could only be described as nervousness. Yes, we eventually grew fond of each other's quirks but I think that made me realize that he wasn't afraid to show his more vulnerable side. The thing about toxic men is that they don't let you see that side of them most of the time. They only show you what they think you want to see. I have met people who when you immediately first meet them, you need to get away. He was never like that. This guy had to be strong when things fell apart for him. He had to figure out how to pick up the pieces and get his life back to where it was meant to be. Everything always seems to work in his favor and for that, I will never be able to fully figure it out.
As you can see, the toxic guys aren't the ones who really put their true selves out there. The strong ones stand out from the crowd and show who they are through their kindness and willingness to try different things. I want to meet more of these guys someday because I know that when I do, they will make me a better person for it.