Okay, that title is a little confusing. Sorry about that. What I should say is not thinking about exactly how I want my future to turn out
works sometimes.

At least it did for me.

Until I was friends with people who think about it and think about it often.

I came to a Christian college thinking everyone had the same mindset as me: Life is fine the way it is and whatever happens next will be fine too.

I was wrong.

It seemed like every single person I met had plans for every single thing they could ever possibly go through and when I told them that my future wasn't mapped out they were confused at how I wasn't worried and told me I should make plans and know exactly where I'm going to go for the rest of my life.

They were also wrong.

It's beyond possible to be happy and not have your life outlined and here's why: Things are going to change no matter what you do. Please, I'm begging you, go ask your parents or your grandparents what they wanted when they were 19 compared to what actually happened in their lives.

And I know that it’s hard to focus on other things when it seems like everyone around you is moving on to the next chapter of their lives or planning a huge life event and you're just looking out into the void, not knowing what will come next. Maybe a friend just got the exact job they wanted in their field or your cousin is planning their perfect wedding that they've had planned for years and you want those things for yourself as well. Whatever it is that is happening to the people you care about, it doesn't have to make you worried about your future.

And for me it wasn't even that I was just going from high school to college and started wanting different things for my life. Everything I thought about began changing, and not in a good way.

First I wanted a boyfriend, then I wanted a car, then I wanted a good job and a house. I wasn't happy with where I was and I wasn't content with not knowing where I'd go anymore. My entire thought process completely changed because I let fear and uncertainty consume me.

And this probably seems crazy to say because it's normal to have desires, right? Knowing what you want and going for it? A good job, spouse, house, kids, and a dog? But not for me. I’ve been praying against traditional desires for some time. I’ve prayed for a heart that loves what Jesus loves. I’ve prayed for new eyes to see people in new ways. I've prayed to know how to spend my time in glorifying ways and I prayed for things to think about that please my Creator. When my thoughts were consumed by my Savior and the people He’s called me to, I wasn’t worried about the future and I didn't plan out every aspect of my life. I didn’t spend time coming up with the perfect wedding. I hadn’t planned out how many kids I wanted or what kind of car I would drive. I was content where I was and I knew that even when things changed I would still be content because my head and my heart weren’t worried about how to be something else.

But then all the things I was content without became things I wanted right now. It wasn't even just that I had to have all of my life laid out, it was that it had to be happening right away or I couldn't be happy.

This new outlook on life was so toxic, and crazy. I couldn’t even find happiness in the things that I used to be obsessed with; spending time with my friends, exploring new places, reading, writing, painting. Even my conversations became consumed by it. I substituted talking about my ideas, passions and dreams for talking about trivial things I didn't even think I wanted a year ago.

And it could start with literally anything you want that you can’t stop thinking about. I’ve seen it happen to people I care about. They’ve been caught up in job promotions, new positions, money, and possessions and they stopped doing the what they love because their time was being taken up by thinking about what they don’t have.

I hate it. I hate this crazy culture we live in. I miss being happy with what I do. I don’t like having to justify not doing what I love because I’m making plans for a future that will definitely change.

And I’m not saying that letting your future occupy your thoughts automatically makes you a bad person and you’re wasting your time. I’m saying that I can’t stand what it does to me.

So, this is my written promise to get back to the things I love doing that bring light into my life because I can better serve the people I care about when I’m giving my time and energy to joy rather than confusion and sadness.

And I’d like to remind you of just a few things while you continue to navigate the craziness we all get to go through as humans:

You are valuable.

You are loved.

You are whole.

Trust me.