I'm Not Yet The Person I Want To Be... And That's Okay | The Odyssey Online
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Health and Wellness

I'm Not Yet The Person I Want To Be... And That's Okay

Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.

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I'm Not Yet The Person I Want To Be... And That's Okay
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If you weren't aware, my first Odyssey article consisted of me ranting for way too long about getting my life together.

My intentions were truly of the purest variety. I wanted to share my story so that no one would ever have to go through what I went through (read my earlier article to find out -- shameless self-promotion).

Now that my freshman year is coming to a close, the appropriate question for you to ask would be if I followed my own advice. In some ways I did, but in others I really didn't.

Truth be told, I had the highest expectations for myself. Expectations that I could never possibly live up to, especially being the lazy, Netflix-lover that I am. I thought that I could change, without putting in the effort. Some of my old patterns still exist.

I am still a total scatterbrain and sometimes (very rarely, though) I forget to study for tests. Not for finals, though, I know when those are and I'm making them my b***h.

I truly thought that this semester would be different, that I would lose 3,000 pounds, and get straight As, all the while keeping my social life intact.

I seemed to have forgotten that losing weight comes from exercise and a healthy diet, both of which I have not changed since the first semester.

I'm ashamed to admit that in a lot of ways I did not get my act together. I still leave for classes two minutes before they begin. I nap at weird hours of the day and sleep way too late.

I always forget to share my articles or answer text messages and emails. I didn't even have a working computer for two months -- I missed out on so many "Criminal Minds" episodes, and also a lot of reading for classes (whoops)!

Though I acknowledge these are absolutely all first-world problems, they're aspects of life that most normal, adult people have under control.

It took a few metaphorical slaps on the head to realize the error in my ways. Especially after writing this and realizing how little I take advantage of the opportunities I have been given. That I really have to change.

I have on numerous occasions, however, put my social life aside to focus on my academics. That was my biggest struggle during my first semester.

I'm still always in the mood to go out, but I understand now that most assignments are more important than "keeping up appearances."

I hate myself for saying that; I sound like a Kardashian.

In all seriousness, this improvement is one I am proud of because it's my biggest one. What I most had to change. To be clear, I am not as social as I am making myself out to be.

Last semester if I wasn't with my friends, I was watching Netflix or sleeping -- mostly sleeping, rarely studying.

All in all, I think that I have changed a lot this year. I'm still the same person, but I may be a better version of myself -- maybe.

What I have learned from my many mistakes is that I will never be someone I'm not, but it doesn't hurt to try to be better. I know that as much as I try I will never be the organized, athletic, or book smart girl that I would like to be.

While these are just three of three million things that I am not, I have to learn to be okay with that. I'll get back to you on that one next semester.

What should you take away from all of this absurdity?

I would say that you should never take yourself too seriously. Of course, that can be very hard to do, especially in times of distress.

More importantly, who am I to tell you what to do? But if you're still reading, take it from someone who does most things the wrong way, when everything seems out of sync, try to step back from the situation and take a deep breath.

Remind yourself that you are only human. I sound like a self-righteous yogi, but I really believe that as people we make mistakes and all we can do is grow from them.

I may not have become the person I wanted to be, but slowly I am growing.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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