4. I am in the 7th circle of hell right now. | The Odyssey Online
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Arts Entertainment

The 15 Stages Of Getting Your Wisdom Teeth Removed

Pain, Blood, and Hunger, Oh My!

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I just got my wisdom teeth out 5 days ago, and it was a roller coaster. I was terrified when I first went into the dentist's office. What if I woke up during surgery? What if he butchers my mouth? Little did I know that I should not have feared what would happen during surgery; rather, I should have worried about what life would be like after surgery. If you are reading this and about to get your wisdom teeth removed, do not fret. It is not as bad as people make it out to be. It is just a lot of difficultly and first world problems. Here are 15 "stages" of complaints and thoughts that I had when I was healing from my wisdom teeth surgery.

1. I am so tired and I can't walk in a straight line because of all the drugs they hooked me up with.

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Seriously, where am I? How did I get here?

2. I can't feel my face or close my mouth sos.

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What is this rubber thing hanging from my face? Oh wait, it's my bottom lip.

3. You know, this isn't so bad...there's not a lot of pain.

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People always make a big deal out of wisdom teeth surgery...I hardly feel any discomfort! Wimps.

4. I am in the 7th circle of hell right now.

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The medicine finally wore off and my ibuprofen tablets aren't kicking in fast enough.


Pro Tip: Take your pain meds BEFORE the Novocaine wears off. You will thank me later.

5. Why am I awake at 4 in the morning?

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My medicine wore off and I just want to go back to sleep, but I can't because I have a pulsating jaw.

6. I can't eat anything, but this medicine wants me to take food with it??? I'm so hungry but ugh...

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I accidentally took Ibuprofen and Vicodin on an empty stomach and puked up all of my intestines. Oops. Ditch the Vicodin on the first or second day after your surgery if you can handle it.

7. Wow I can open my mouth 1 centimeter further.

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My reaction when I realized I could now shove an entire spoon in my mouth.

8. I keep tasting blood?? Am I developing dry socket?? Or am I just talking too much??

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I swear I constantly checked my wound to make sure the scab was still in there.

9. I look like a chipmunk.

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My face has swelled up to the size of a balloon and it hurts to the touch sos.

10. The pain and swelling is finally going down!!

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I'd like to give a huge thanks to the steroids they prescribed to me and all the ice packs that have helped me get through this tough time.

11. I'm going to try and eat some semi solid foods.

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Oatmeal sounds pretty appetizing right now...

12. Big mistake.

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I didn't realize how much I used my molars and I think there's oatmeal stuck in my sockets: a trilogy.

13. Okay, the pain is actually going away now.

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I can talk more and not taste blood, so that's a plus.

14. I can eat real food hallelujah.

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God is looking out for me 10/10.

15. I am so glad I got this over with.

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This was a pain but not as much of a pain as having gum infections and jaw pain when I'm 50.

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