I did something terrible today. Something scandalous. Selfishly scandalous. I should have thought about it this morning, but I didn't. I only thought about myself. I did not take into consideration the distractions it would cause, the lost time my fellow peers would suffer because of me or the sordid morals that I would be flaunting.

I wore a tank top, but to add to my already despicable morals I also wore… LEGGINGS.

Me, myself and I. That's all I ever seem to think about. So I would like to begin this with apologizing. I am sorry to the boy sitting next to me in math who was incapable of taking even one lecture note because my shoulder paralyzed him. I would also like to apologize to the boy sitting across from me in foreign language for the drool that soaked your shirt by the end of the hour because of my accentuated butt pressed scantily against the bottom of my desk chair.

Who cares if it's 100 degrees out? That's my problem and I should not have allowed something as petty as the weather to devastate the days of my male peers. Besides, the school does do an incredible job of maintaining a decent temperature and I should have had enough respect for both myself and my male peers to trust that the temperature would be maintained again today. Most males in this school accept the temperature and do not flaunt anything more than their bro tanks and boxers reveal, and I strive to be them. Not in boxers and bro tanks, of course, that would be far too promiscuous.

I am beyond ashamed of how I dressed today, as I should be. Not only did I annihilate the day of every guy who saw me; but, I put myself at risk to be taken advantage of. I understand that men are too ape-like to restrain themselves, or more specifically what's below the belt. But all I can do is say thank you to the boy in the saggy jeans, who did nothing more than hoot. I am sincerely sorry that I caused you distraction, which resulted in you stumbling in the hallway, and I appreciate that you did not take advantage of me because of how I dressed. Most men would not have been able to withhold their composure and had it been anyone else; I may have lost my virginity today, which would, of course, have been my fault. I know that. Therefore, I sincerely wish to thank you for being such a chivalrous gentleman.

As I reflect upon today, I cannot believe I had the audacity to expose my shoulder and purposely accentuate my butt. Those are items that should be exclusive to my significant other; if I make them available to the world, I deserve the label of 'slut' and I cannot expect anything less than men grabbing my butt because I have clearly placed it there for the taking.

I am female, which means I must be modest. Humble. Quiet. Women are inferior, after all. Pieces of meat, maybe even works of art if you talk to the right person.

LADIES- We must accept who we are; because until then, we are hopeless. Stop fighting for equal pay, stop fighting for an official voting rights act in government… We are, and will always be, inferior. That is why every significant document in American history from the Mayflower Compact to the Constitution says men and not people. Our male peers have it handled ladies, let's just sit back, smile and look pretty. That’s our purpose after all. If you get bored with that, I’m sure the men wouldn’t complain if you went and cooked dinner.