Being a woman, I am faced with a lot of double bind issues. I'm head to head with sexist remarks, harassment on the daily (i.e. catcalling) double standards, belittlement, patriarchal roles such as being the "mother" or doing something maternal just because I am a female. I am thrown up to these expectations, and if I decide not to have children someday, I am somehow an "evil person." From birth, I have been one of the many women who have dealt with these kinds of issues. Ever since I was a little girl, I have been told not to walk alone at nighttime, and if I must, to bring someone with me. I never exactly questioned those kinds of things because I was younger and I was just born into that. It seemed normal to me. But as I got older, I started to wonder why women usually almost always have to hurdle over these obstacles. Why do women have to do these things? Why are women put in these boxes and roles?
Now don't get me wrong, I know that there are multiple struggles that men face. Having to oppress feelings is a huge one. There's that stereotype that if a man cries or shows any kind of emotion, he is labeled as a pansy, or even "gay" or "not manly enough." Men are taught to like tough things that usually relate to violence.
The bottom line is that there are downsides to each gender, and both contain their own kind of struggles. However, there are those times where I feel extraordinarily proud to be a woman. Yes, we endure the problems that I mentioned above, and sometimes, everyday can be simply irritating as we are just trying to be taken seriously in this world. But at the end of the day, there is a silver lining to having these infuriating rules and regulations. And sometimes, they work to our advantage. These complications and battles have made me proud to be a woman.
Here's how I remind myself, too.
Reminding myself what we deal with on a daily basis, and how that only make us stronger in the long run.
Sorry to get seemingly "graphic," but having to go through child-birth? Having to go through menstrual cycles once every month for up to a week? Not being able to wear what we like for usbecause it makes us feel good just because society thinks we are "asking for it"? Having to shave our legs because that's what is considered beautiful in our society? And then if we don't shave our legs, we are scowled at and deemed "disgusting and dirty"? Even having the courage to stand up for rights and to create movements? After all of these years, we are still fighting for that equality between everyone. I could honestly go on and on. I mean, women are pretty savage.
There are famous females doing amazing things that keep me inspired and strong.
Emma Watson, who has become the ambassador for HeForShe, promotes gender equality with a true attitude. There's Coco Chanel, Rosie the Riveter, Amy Poehler, Gloria Steinem, Bell Hooks, Maya Angelou, Ellen Page, Lena Dunham and Malala Yousafzai. Zooey Deschanel has always made it clear that she is a strong feminist, and has even created a website called Hello Giggles, a place for "strong, independent women." I could go on and on and on. I applaud all of you incredible women for your hard work, determination, as well as your strength.
Educating myself on how much women have progressed over the years.
As women, I think that we have come an exceptionally long way -- from standing up for our rights, to writing about controversial things during the late 1800's (Kate Chopin, anyone?), to being able to vote and to never silencing our voices. Susan B. Anthony is an inspiration to me because she was an early crusader for woman's rights. Joan of Arc was rad because she was just a young teenager when she defeated the English Army. Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly across the ocean, which is pretty darn amazing. And of course we all know Rosa Parks, and how she jump started the Civil Rights Movement with the Montgomery Bus boycott. These women have given me hope, and I think that's really cool that this stuff has been going on since, basically, forever.
And specifically reading feminist books or stories by strong female authors.
Virginia Woolf, Kate Chopin, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, J.K. Rowling, Bell Hooks, Gloria Steinem and Sylvia Plath just to name a few. I read "The Awakening" when I was a senior in high school for my AP English class and I fell in love with it. I remember my teacher telling me that she thought I would specifically like that one a lot, and she was right. The story of a typical housewife and mother stuck in this cult of domesticity in late 1800's society, and then having the courage to break out of that, was super liberating for me on a personal level. You should give it a read!
And speaking of books, watching chick flicks about strong sisterly bonds makes me feel even more proud of being a woman, too.
Get ready for an assortment of movies that make me thankful for my own friendships -- "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" (and the second one, too), "How to Be Single," "Breakfast at Tiffany's," "Legally Blonde," "Bridget Jones Diary," "Now and Then" (I loved that movie when I was 12), "The Babysitter's Club" (because come on, you had to have read the series) "Steel Magnolias" (classic) "Frances Ha, Beaches" (OMG! Get the Kleenex box!) "Bridesmaids," "Ghost World," "Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun" and of course, "Mean Girls."
Sticking with your close girlfriends through thick and thin.
Girl power. Sister power. Sisters before misters. Ovaries before "brovaries." There's just something special about these women bonds, and what specifically makes them unique and powerful. Need I say more?
And finally, empowering songs by these awesome girl bands.
Sleater Kinney, Vivian Girls, Dum Dum Girls, Le Sara, Sea Pony, St. Vincent, Marina and The Diamonds, Lana Del Rey, Neko Case, Courtney Barnett, Cat Power, Feist and many more.
"Take it as it Comes" by Vivian Girls
"You've gotta think with your head, girl.
Not with your heart.
If you ever want a love so true,
Oh girl, take my advice, take it as it comes."
"Seventeen by Marina" and The Diamonds
"No, no I'm not your little slave.
No I don't twist and turn that way.
Only got bad things to say.
You're always asking what is up, up with me."
Pedestrian at Best by Courtney Barnett
"Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you.
Tell me I'm exceptional and I promise to exploit you."
In today's society, it's common to feel ashamed for being a woman, for obtaining these physical traits that we do and for having to deal with the things that go on in our body. Culture has had the tendency of making it seem as though we are gross or repulsive when it's simply apart of being a woman -- and I think that it's all beautiful, and part of nature and life. Don't ever let the world make you feel like you're less important than you actually are. Everyone, no matter what gender or orientation, is gorgeous in their own ways. For me, I'm proud to be a woman, and this is who I am. I am a woman, hear me roar.
