2020 felt like a never-ending emotional coaster.
There were ups and many downs. Thank goodness that 2020 is officially over. It has truly been unforgettable.
2020 was supposed to be my big year. I was supposed to dance the night away at prom, walk across the stage for graduation, have the best summer ever, and start an amazing adventure at college. Most of that was taken away by COVID-19.
I did get to start college, which was by far the highlight of the year. However, like I said, I was on an emotional roller coaster. A month into school, I started drowning in stress, anxiety and drama.
There were many nights that I spent crying and questioning my morals.
If you ask anyone who knows me to describe me, it's fairly consistent. I am kind, overly selfless, and warm. For most of my life, others complimented these qualities, and I thrived on spreading kindness.
Before I started college, my parents warned me about being too kind. They made it clear that there are people who will take advantage of kindness. I had to be able to put my foot down. I didn't think much of it at the beginning of the semester.
I know better now.
2020 became the year where I learned to put myself first. A month into college, I met some great people who I would not trade for the world. That being said, there were some others that pushed me to my limits. My kindness and selflessness were manipulated. For the first time, I understood my parents' warning.
I knew that the drama, stress, and exhaustion I experienced were not what college was supposed to be.
I was being dragged into an unending storm, and I knew I needed out.
Confrontation has always been difficult for me. I have a fear of hurting others, so I often excuse behavior to avoid negative conversations. However, I know I deserve better. So, my journey of sticking up for myself began.
I cannot lie and say that the whole situation went smoothly.
There were tears, foul words, and immaturity from the other side. On my end, there was a lot of holding myself together and forcing myself to stand my ground.
I was referred to as selfish and mean, which was expected.
With reassurance from some close friends, I felt okay. I had confronted the problem and did what was best. I protected myself from emotional harm.
So, 2020 was a lot more than the cancellation of prom and graduation. It was more than the start of college.
2020 was the beginning of me learning to stand up for myself.
Friends, you can be kind, selfless, and warm, even in a negative situation. You deserve to be treated kindly, so do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Happy New Year!