Human beings are naturally social creatures. Introverts and extroverts alike- we all thrive off the energy of others. Try as we might to deny it on the outside (because who doesn't want to proclaim that they are a strong and independent person?), deep down we know we're not meant to be lone wolves.
Hearing the word "separation", that panicked instinct kicks in, telling us to avoid it at all costs. Stick with the pack, that instinct whispers and we are only too happy to agree. We associate it with loneliness and isolation, with impossible walls that keep us apart; we remember being 6-years-old and getting separated from our parents at the grocery store and just feeling so... lost.
With so much anxiety built around that single word, it's understandable why we choose to conform to the world around us rather than separating ourselves from it. After all, it's only natural. Collectively, our greatest desire is simply to be accepted for who we are. What we may not realize, however, is that conformity may actually be holding us back. That's where separation- at least mentally- becomes necessary.
What I mean by "mental separation" is the conscious effort of defining who you are apart from everyone else. Though it may be difficult, actively separating yourself from others is often an important part of personal growth because it allows you to establish yourself as an individual.
If we were to strip ourselves from all outside influences- our family and friends, reputations and societal expectations- what would be left? It's a chilling thought, to say the least, but often times we aren't even conscious of how much we let others shape our lives and decisions. In some cases, such as with family and close friends, this isn't necessarily a bad thing; these are the people we rely on and whom in turn rely on us. However, it is still important to take a step back at times and remember that we are, first and foremost, individuals . That doesn't mean we won't listen to their advice or opinion, but ultimately our goals, decisions and identities are our own. The people in our lives who truly care about us, those are the ones that will accept us for who we are, no matter what. We wouldn't want them to change just to fit our standards, and neither should they.
Separating ourselves from the will of society, in general, is a whole other story. Sometimes it's just easier to go with the flow, to be the person everyone expects you to be, rather than to be uniquely you. I am instantly reminded of the parable of the sower and the seed that was choked out by thorns when I think about this concept. Our dreams and ambitions in life, those are the seeds we are so desperately trying to sew, but sometimes we let the outside world come and destroy them. Those who desire to become an artist or a musician are told to be more practical and get a real job instead. We let societal values become more important than what we value, we let our minds be filled with self-doubt and in the process, we become lost.
Essentially, the point I'm trying to get at is this: be your own person. Separate yourself from the masses, resist being put into a box that may or may not define you, discover who you are. Don't let yourself get pressured into being a different version of yourself to fit other's needs. Because at the end of the day, you might look back and no longer recognize yourself.
I'd like to dedicate this piece to my dad who called me a "philosophical tree" last week.
You were so right.
