Anecdote time!
Two years ago, my parents took my sister and I to a junior league derby team practice. I put on some skates, fumbled about, and watched my sister lap me. The experience ended there. I lived too far away from the practice area, my parents didn’t have money for both my sister and me to have gear, and I had school.
I couldn’t be happier that I had to wait.
Caption: "Looking into roller derby today, I probably can't play until next semester, but it's exciting!"
Now:
I just turned 18, which means I can join an adult roller derby team. And I did.
Caption: "Looking into roller derby today, I probably can't play until next semester, but it's exciting!"
Well, I’m just training, but even just being “fresh meat,” I think this sport has changed my life.
I hate doing physical exercise. Unlike some people, it does not make me happy. I hate working outside, even though I love our gardens. For the most part, I never exert myself physically. Derby has been the first thing I’ve really wanted to work on my body with. I push myself even when it hurts, I sweat until my clothes are soaked through and I feel like crying. And it does feel good. Already, derby has made me feel better about my physical condition and made me want to improve.
Something else that I love about roller derby is that everyone expects you to be a beginner. You don’t have to even know how to skate. That’s the point: you learn as you go. And it’s refreshing, because at 18, there’s not a lot I can learn from the beginning on without being hardcore judged (imagine me trying out for my college’s soccer team!). But in roller derby, you have to start somewhere, and for a lot of people that’s adulthood. A lot of them are older than I am, but we are all new to this.
Understanding that I’m not perfect, however, got a lot harder when we put a number to it. Part of making the team is being able to do 27 laps in five minutes. My first time, I did 11. That hurt. I knew I was slow. But being told exactly how slow I was dampened my optimism. But then someone talked me through some techniques, which more than anything boosted my determination. She knew I could do it, and so I tried again. 17. I may not improve every time, and it may take me a long time to make the team, but I never feel like I don’t belong, or that there’s no point in me being there.
I love that, even though everyone is very supportive and kind to me, they never let me get away with less than I’m able to do. People call me out when I don’t try something, or when I’m not doing my best, or even when I am trying really hard but I can still do more. I feel like I belong there, because we laugh together, we sweat together, we fall and bruise together.
More than anything, roller derby gave me individual purpose. Being a writer, I often feel frustrated by how unfruitful my work can be. But in roller derby, I’m getting better every day. Just a few weeks’ worth of practice has motivated me, and I can only imagine what it will be like when I actually get out there to play.
Between us, I just really want to hit people.
