Four years have gone by and you know what that means. And before you jump to any conclusions, this article is not a hate piece denouncing Donald Trump (although that’s a good topic for my next article). I am talking about the Rio Summer Olympics. The time where winter athletes can sit back and relax while the summer athletes compete in track, beach volleyball, swimming, diving, table tennis, normal tennis, the horsey jumping and much more. However serious this event is for millions of people, some of these less than serious thoughts may briefly run (pun intended) through your mind while watching.

1. Handball is an Olympic sport? Really? I played that in elementary school.

Yes, in fact, handball is an Olympic sport, but it’s probably nothing like what you are picturing in your mind. After watching the “Quick Guide to Olympic Handball” video on the Olympic website, the sport looks like soccer (or futbol if you prefer) but, instead of using your feet, you use your hands.

2. Dang, are these gymnasts from outer space? How in the world does he/she jump so high?

I thought Simone Biles was born on Mars after I watched her floor exercise performance, but it turns out she was born in Columbus, Ohio. So…. not Mars.

3. I bet I could do that if I tried.

Sorry, but no. You couldn’t do that.

4. How in the world do you score fencing? Right of way? Bend? What?

I still don’t know how they score fencing, sorry. You’re on your own for this one.

5. Are there lifeguards at the Olympic swimming events?

There are in fact lifeguards at the swimming events. You know, just in case one of the world class swimmers tries to swim less than 30 minutes after they ate and they get a cramp.

6. When are the skiing events?

Wrong Olympics.