There are some people in this world who are dedicated to sports, exercising, and working out. They love the exhilaration of running while the cold morning air beats against their faces and find joy when the referee lifts your arm and declares you the winner of the wrestling match. Some people live for this, but other people, like me, could care less. It is not that we do not want to find joy in exercising and sports, but it is rather no matter how hard we try, we just do not fit in with that crowd. We can find one hundred other things in life that we would rather do than go outside when it is unbearably hot to run around chasing a ball across a football field or spend an hour of our evening embarrassing ourselves in front of other people in a public gym attempting to work the treadmill only to find out you are on an elliptical instead. Here, in the midst of the public gym confusion and general lack of excitement for exercising whatsoever, is a list of reasons why people like me choose to do anything else besides working out and sports.
1. I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream.
I mean, come on, wouldn't you rather dig into a quart of ice cream instead of digging your face into someone else's arm pit during a wrestling match?
2. I...can't...breathe.
The idea of not being able to catch your breath after a lap around the track is simply unpleasant. Especially after it feels like a medieval knight is stabbing you in your side as if you are the one holding the princess hostage!
How can you expect me to have time to work out if I barely have time for dinner most nights?
4. Ohhh, a morning workout?
I think you underestimate the connection my bed and I hold. I cannot possibly give up any quality time that we have with each other. I could hurt its' feelings.
5. Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work
Between two summer jobs and volunteering regularly, I am exhausted by the end of the night. All I do is work.
6. Coordination? What is this foreign concept?
Look, walking without falling on my face can be serious struggle. Now, you want me to gracefully place a ball in a hoop? Yep. That is not going to happen.
I know all these are just excuses to not workout, but after all, that is what I am looking for, right?
