I feel like I am in the perfect position to talk about this because I wish someone had told me this. It's not a great feeling not knowing what to do next. At times, I feel like my anxieties have anxieties. I spend a lot of time preparing for the future. I want a small cottage house in the thick forest. It will have a large personal library, an awesome tea selection and the darkest dark chocolate I can find will always be readily available. It will be my oasis when I am not traveling the world and crossing stuff off my bucket list. Maybe I don't want children, maybe I do. But I know for sure I don't want more than two. And even then, I don't want children until I have a majority of my bucket list crossed off, so that way, I can 100 percent focus on them. If at any point it appears I won't get this life, I will mentally snap, and I will freak the f--k out. Here is my best advice on what to remember.
1. You have every right to feel this way.
We all know there are other people who have bigger problems. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel the way you do about your problems. For example, I was 12 years old when I shattered my foot, but it still didn't feel great when I burned my tongue when I took my first sip of tea this morning. It was my favorite tea, Earl Grey with bergamot oil. Nonetheless, it still hurt.
2. Failure builds character and gives you experience.
Think of failed experiences as a washing machine. You go in feeling worn out. Now during your failed experience, it twists, turns and knocks you around, but you come out cleaner and better than before. This won't be the only time you come down on hard times. At least know you have experience.
3. Success is a process.
Nobody comes out of high school or college making six figures. It's in the process of success that your skills are honed down, you find your strengths and you try to make peace with your weaknesses. The news always has at least one person who made it big like on YouTube or talent shows like "America's Got Talent." It's usually so sudden that they can't handle the attention or the feeling they are getting. But no one pays attention to the fact that they spent hours trying to perfect their skill so they can make it big in the first place.
4. Don't validate your existence by what other people think of you.
You have nothing to prove to anybody. Proving yourself to you and you only is good enough. People find happiness in different ways. For some people, it's being at home with their kids. For others, it's traveling the world and trying new foods. Everybody has their ideas of happiness in the back of their head, but when you factor in other people's ideals or happiness, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
5. You really only have to deal with the present.
Anything can happen, because things do have a way of working themselves out. Just focus on the future, because who knows? Maybe your future problems you are worrying about may be solved, and you could be worrying and stressing yourself out for no good reason. So really the best thing you can do is focus on the present.
6. You can't have happiness without sadness.
We all have highs and lows in our lives. Experiencing sadness is what makes us appreciate the good times. If you don't have times when you feel up and down, you flatline.
7. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.
Even when it looks like all hope is lost, and your dreams are shattered, just find another dream. Everybody has blessings, big and small. We all want more money, more clothes, a fancier car, etc. but how much time do we spend appreciating that we have friends and family to lean on?
8. It's not weak to ask for advice.
It's a sad irony that the people who need the most advice are the most hesitant to ask for it. First, let's raise a glass to those people, and may irony never defeat them. Second, it's not weak to ask for advice; it's strength actually. We all hate admitting we are unsure of what to do next. It takes strength to admit your failures and that you need help.
9. Don't feel guilty; some things are out of your control.
Life is too short to spend days torturing your soul. If you really think about it, how many things do you worry about that you really shouldn't, because it's out of your control? Make the best of the cards you are dealt with, so you can come out of this on top. Again, you will be wiser and have experience.
10. You're not the only one.
Things for other people have a tendency of looking great on the outside. When, really, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors and what they are experiencing that they refuse to tell you. Everyone is fighting a silent battle. So really the only thing that you can do is use what you learned from previous experiences to help others.
Stay strong, I am sending hugs your way. ❤
