This week, I'll be answering questions about my experience with mental illness. Some of these may be triggering, so fair warning for real talk about the reality of mental illness.
Q: What does it mean to have a mental illness?
A: For me, being mentally ill is like walking a tightrope. If I'm not on top of my medication, self-care, and therapy, I can fall back down to rock bottom.
Q: What have you been diagnosed with and what do they mean?
A: ADHD; Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder; constant pacing/bouncing, no concept of time, forgets to eat/sleep/bathe, poor impulse control, poor memory, and mood swings.
ODD; Obstinate Defiance Disorder, argumentative/defiant behavior, uncontrollable aggression, and vindictiveness that causes issues with every day life.
Depression; Severe mood swings, loss of interest, irregular sleep patterns, constant sadness/emptiness/suicidal
Generalized Anxiety Disorder; unreasonable worry, whole body pain, fatigue, irritability when schedule changes unexpectedly, and emotional distress.
PTSD; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; Flashbacks, frequent nightmares, emotional detachment, unwanted thoughts, and self-destructive behavior.
Q: What do you struggle with the most?
A: I tend to struggle with balance; I tend to dive so deep into something, that it can be hard to come back up. I also struggle with my emotions; I have trouble with forming emotional connections between myself and people outside of my family.
Q: How do you overcome obstacles?
A: Mostly with positive reinforcement. If it's something mental (like not wanting to be in big crowds), I slowly work on "correcting" my brain by rewarding it with something pleasant, like watching a movie I enjoy or napping. If it's physical (like not wearing clothes with fabrics that bother me), again I would reward myself with something nice, like a long bath or a treat.
Q: How do you self-soothe/calm down?
A: I've found that my cell phone is a big help. If I'm able to, I have games I play that distract me from whatever is stressing me out. If I can't, then I make up a story in my head or focus on real things around me.
Q: Do you ever have times where everything seems to "go off" at once? How do you deal with that?
A: Yes, I've had that happen. And at those times, I do as little as possible. I treat my mental illness like a physical one; I wouldn't walk on a broken ankle, so why should I push myself when I'm having a bad day with my mental health.
Q: Do you feel like there is still a stigma around mental illness?
A: Absolutely! The biggest one I've faced is that I appear "normal". Well, for one, "normal" is different for everyone. Secondly, what is someone with mental illness supposed to look/behave like? Thirdly, it's taken years of hard work and practice to "appear normal".
Another is that it's "taboo" to speak openly and honestly about my experiences. The only way to get rid of the stigma and taboo around mental illness is to talk about it. I've had good days and bad days. I've been hospitalized a few times. I've been in serious trouble. I've stayed in bed for days at a time. These are a part of my life, just like going to school or vacations.
Q: What do you think is the biggest obstacle that keeps people from seeking out treatment?
A: A number of obstacles stand in the way, but the biggest one is that people don't think anything is wrong. They don't think their symptoms are serious. They are afraid that there will be "consequences" for them seeking help. That they will be locked away, shunned by society, or they won't be believed.
Q: What is the one thing that people who are uneducated on mental illness should learn?
A: The biggest thing is that mental illness isn't discriminatory; it doesn't matter what age, race, gender, profession, or social status you have. It can happen to anyone, at any time. You're not weak because you ask for help; you're strong and brave.
