Mental illness... what do you think when you hear the words? I know what I used to think. "That doesn't make sense. How can someone make up something in their head to justify the bad things going on their world."
Often, we don't understand things we don't experience first hand. That's just human nature. It took me waking up in a cold sweat, unable to calm down for hours when I was in middle school to understand even a little bit about what was going on. Up till that point, nothing earth shattering had happened to me that would "trigger" these panic attacks and anxiety. I grew up happy, and never wanted for anything. I was normal.
I didn't like change too much, I liked being in a routine, and I liked staying busy. As I got older though, things changed... my mind got busier and more complex and I just thought more in general. I worried about anything and everything. My anxiety flew through the roof and I didn't know how to handle it. It's like being in a car and skidding on the ice, knowing what you should do to correct it but instead you're out of control. You want to fix it, but getting out of bed everyday is a struggle when it's really easier to just sleep it away. Your irrational thoughts and scenarios ruin everything you do.
Freshmen year of college, 2011 Spring semester. I was doing well in school, working 35 hours a week and that was pretty much it. I realized slowly but surely I was traveling down a road to depression, along with the anxiety that was soon to be diagnosed. My mind was swirling with thoughts: "I'm so ashamed." "How did I get here and what do I do now?" Often times people with anxiety think that it will be temporary. Everyone feels anxiety in some type of way, but those of us that feel it constantly with no let up are the ones that know the difference. I used to be worried about telling people and feeling judged. I even felt that my doctor was judging me for this newest revelation in my life. The cliche "You're not alone." Is true. More people suffer from anxiety, depression and other things of that sort than we all realize.
Knowing you're not alone in this daily fight with yourself can make all the difference. You don't have to be a certain kind of person to fit into the anxiety category. People suffer from it for many different reasons and in many different ways. People in their early 20's and all the way up to the elderly suffer from some sort of anxiety/depression. There are a million different categories: social anxiety, generalized anxiety, anxiety/depression. The worst thing you can do is to ignore it and try to push it away. Seeing a doctor, talking to friends, and looking into medication can help tremendously. It doesn't make you weak to do that. In fact, it makes you stronger for acknowledging the issue at hand. It puts you in control of something you couldn't control before. That's what it's all about after all: looking your demons in the face and telling them you will overcome, you will live your life, and you will be happy everyday.
People can be fighting battle every single day. These battles can be physically seen or in someone's mind. Just because theses mental illnesses aren't able to be seen doesn't mean they're not real.
