Hello, my love, and Happy Valentine's Day,
I just wanted to take the time to write this and say,
It'd be cool if you actually existed in the flesh,
So you could see me, so dazzling, so radiant, so fresh.
I would love to tell you that I'm a catch, a real gem,
but the truth is my best talents are eating and sleeping till 3 p.m.
You should know a few things that I only tell those closest to me:
I'm stubborn, sarcastic, and like to disagree.
But if you were real, I can tell you one thing,
we would travel the world together, to London, Paris, Beijing.
LOL just kidding, I'm kind of broke too,
But, hey, I'm funny sometimes and even close my mouth when I chew.
Trust me, if you existed, I'd treat you great,
by hugging you and kissing you ... and help finish what you left on your plate.
I'm not bitter about being single; I'm fine with that.
I mean, at least I have my cat.
But, in case you can't see what will make you happy,
I'm here to tell you that dating me is key.